IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising encourages people to buy things they do not need. Others say that advertisements are important sources of information about new products. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Minh

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In the contemporary era, promoting
products
Use synonyms
 to everyone who needs them through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising is a heated topic.
While
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 some individuals think that advertising
effect
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effects
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 them to consume services they do not necessarily require.
In contrast
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, others believe it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 more valuable information about new and useful
products
Use synonyms
. Two aforementioned views will be discussed
throughly
Correct your spelling
thoroughly
 in
following
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the following
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graghs
Correct your spelling
graphs
 before presenting personal perspective in the conclusion. On the one hand,
i
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I
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 am of the opinion that promoting services is
inform
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 crucial
sources
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source
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 of information about new and practical
products
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.
Firstly
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, the most common belief is that commercials can inform consumers about the features,
Correct word choice
and benefit
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benefit
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benefits
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 of the newly appeared service and
pusuade
Correct your spelling
persuade
 them to purchase or use them.
Secondly
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, thanks to that, everybody who needs them
have
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has
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 more awareness of the
products
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.
In addition
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, the qualitative commercial can influent consumers to decide to buy the most useful service in numerous brands in the price range.
On the other hand
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, there are many reasons why people say that commercials
effort
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encourage
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 them to buy
the
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apply
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useless services. The most significant reason is that the
exaggrative
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exaggerated
publicize
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publicity
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 can make the consumers spend
large
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a large
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amount
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amounts
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 of money
although
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 that unrealistic and
make
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makes
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 them
dissapointed
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disappointed
.
In addition
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, hiring famous
influencer
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influencers
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in
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on
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 social media can attract
the
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apply
show examples
costumers
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customers
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 to spread the
products
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.
To sum up
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, despite the believed value of advertising in
term
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terms
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 of providing information for the general public,
costumers
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customers
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 are often tricked into buying
product
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products
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 which
qre
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are
 little use in their lives. From my perspective, people should filter the
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
 and buy only what they want.

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general
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos before submission. These minor mistakes can affect the clarity of your ideas.
coherence
Try to better structure your paragraphs to clearly state your main points and give supporting details. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and adequate explanation.
task achievement
When providing examples, make sure they are specific and relevant to strengthen your arguments. This will enhance your ability to support your main points effectively.
task achievement
You provided a clear discussion of both viewpoints, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence
Your concluding statement effectively summarizes your opinion, which ties the essay together well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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