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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the percentage of people with mobile phones who use various features on their phone between 2006 and 2010. •Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 dynamic table depicts the rate of community with mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 who utilize different aspects of their smartphone between 2006 and 2010. It is clear from the table that in the past population used
phones
Use synonyms
 to make calls for most of their time.
According to
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 what is shown,the number of public using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 to record videos purpose in 2008.
Moreover
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, playing music had achieved the lowest rate which is 9% in
this
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 period of time (from 2006 to 2010).
In addition
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 in the previous year,
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 didn’t
usage
Replace the word
use
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
 for searching the internet and
also
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 recording videos.
Besides
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 that, humans
exercising
Wrong verb form
exercise
show examples
 mobile for emergency needs mostly like
for instance
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, calling and chatting with others.
On the other hand
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, the usage of mobile is for making memories.
To sum up
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, They have used mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 recently more than before in
different
Change the article
a different
show examples
 manner.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words phones with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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