IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increase in the production of consumer goods is damaging the environment. What are the causes behind this environmental damage and how this problem can be solved?

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In today’s fast-growing world, the consumption of consumer products has increased a lot since
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 decade. It has been becoming more difficult to mitigate
this
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 issue.
This
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 problem is
also
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 becoming a serious concern as it
harming
Wrong verb form
harms
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 the environment at a high scale. There are certain ways to solve
this
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 issue which
has
Verb problem
are
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 explained below.
To begin
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 with, over the period of time the use of plastic has substantially increased,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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 are getting reliant on it very much.
For example
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, whenever they go to any shop and demand
for
Change preposition
apply
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plastic bags even though they know it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 them and
natural
Correct pronoun usage
their natural
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 habitat.
Moreover
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, air pollution is
also
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 becoming a serious issue recently, which is causing
sever
Correct your spelling
severe
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 environmental damage. Since technology has advanced and affordable, it is extremely convenient to purchase cars
due to
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 which
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
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 has been increased.
As a result
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, high pollution levels, which
is harming
Wrong verb form
harm
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environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 significantly. There are many possible solutions which can be applied to curb
this
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 rising problem. Investing money in research and development can be one the best solution that government should consider and make a separate department, which mainly
focus
Change the verb form
focuses
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 on finding different methods to reduce the use of non-recyclable plastic and invent something new, which could be useful for society .
Furthermore
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, imposing additional taxes at the time of buying
car
Add an article
a car
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 is a significant idea to be considered as it can help to reduce the percentage of cars on the roads.
To conclude
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, there are numerous ways we can adopt to put a hold on
continuous
Correct article usage
the continuous
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 consumption
Change preposition
of naturals
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naturals
Change the noun form
natural
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 resources. In today’s era, technology has reached so far we can develop many
environment
Replace the word
environmentally
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 friendly and renewable
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of energy.

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language
Consider rephrasing sentences to enhance clarity. For example, 'It has been becoming more difficult to mitigate this issue' could be simplified to 'It is becoming increasingly difficult to address this issue.'
examples
Provide more specific examples and statistics where possible to strengthen your argument. For instance, instead of just saying 'the use of plastic has substantially increased', you might include data or a specific example of where this is evident.
organization
Workflow your ideas within paragraphs clearly, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well developed. Make sure each point logically follows from the last, supporting your overall argument more effectively.
introduction
You have introduced the topic and provided a clear overview of the problem, which sets a good foundation for your essay.
conclusion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points effectively, which is important for reinforcing your arguments.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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