IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

some people believe that the increasing number of vehicles is one of the biggest problems facing cities, while others believe that the cities have biggest challenge. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, with the influential impacts of transport , some argue that increasing transportation is
a
Change the article
the
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 biggest dispute in
centre
Add an article
the centre
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.
While
Linking Words
 there may be valid arguments to the contrary. My easy tents to dwell upon both views.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of freight is increasing
day
Use synonyms
 by
day
Use synonyms
 because of better lifestyles and era management . Whenever communities have their own transport, they easily manage their
day
Use synonyms
 and move from one place to another.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only affects the environment but
also
Linking Words
 affects
public's
Change noun form
public
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 health.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 , parking is a measure issue at
this
Linking Words
 moment because
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
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 cannot easily find automobile space downtown, society will face
this
Linking Words
 issue when they drive movement.
For example
Linking Words
, the
community
Use synonyms
 will park their car at the loading zone or no stop zone and they will get a fine ticket.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 ,
however
Linking Words
,increasing transport is the biggest challenge. Because automobile
space
Fix the agreement mistake
spaces
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 are fewer and parking tickets are getting more expensive.
For instance
Linking Words
, the officer who drives their ride and
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
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 in the building for a few hours will cost them
higher
Rephrase
more
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.
Also
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 will spend a lot of
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
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 on the road in the peak times because everyone goes home after office hours.
This
Linking Words
 will cause public mental stress , and fatigue and reduce the spent moment with their family or kids. Restaurants which are open in the cities
also
Linking Words
 face the same complication as increasing the number of vehicles and leading to traffic, so some family will choose
to
Change preposition
apply
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different areas which are near their house without going to cities. To recapitulate, increasing the number of freight is a vast trouble because of imposing lifestyle and
day
Use synonyms
 management .
However
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
 should be made aware of the positive sides of walking and using eco-friendly transportation like bicycles.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to more explicitly convey your views on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas, especially when transitioning between different points.
task achievement
Provide more relevant examples to strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive and concrete.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to discuss both views on the topic, which shows understanding of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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