IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people believe that fast food is harmful to our health and should be regulated by the government. Others argue that people should have the freedom to eat whatever they want. Disscuss both view and give your own opinion. - - Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Fast
food
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 has become a popular choice for many
people
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, but it's often criticized for its
negetive
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negative
 health
efffects
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effects
. Some believe that the
government
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 should regulate fast
food
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 to protect public health,
while
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 others argue that individuals should have the freedom to make their own
food
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 choices. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and explain my opinion. Fast
food
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 is high in sugar, saturated fat, and artificial additives, which can lead to health problems
such
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 as obesity, diabetes, and heart
diseases
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disease
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. Many
people
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comsum
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consume
 fast
food
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 regularly, because it's cheap and convenient. But that may fully understand its risks. If the
government
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 regulates fast
food
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 by limiting unhealthy ingredients or requiring clear nutritional labels,
people
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 may make better dietary choices. On the other
hands
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hand
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,
soem
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some
 argue that
people
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 should have the right to eat whatever they want. Not all fast
food
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 is unhealthy.
For example
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, a
hamburgers
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hamburger
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 contains protein and vegetables, making it a balanced meal when consumed in moderation.
Instead
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 of
government
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rugulations
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regulations
regulation
, individuals should take
a
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apply
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responsibility for their diet by choosing healthier options,
such
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 as diet soda
instead
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 of regular soda. In my opinion, fast
food
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 can be harmful if eaten excessively, but
government
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 intervention is not the best solution.
Instead
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,
people
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 should focus on maintaining a balanced diet by consuming a variety of nutrients, including protein, fat, and carbohydrates. Education about healthy eating habits is more effective
that
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than
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 strict regulations.

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Grammar/Spelling
Ensure spelling and grammatical errors are minimized, as they can distract from the overall clarity of your argument.
Content
Include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument regarding the health effects of fast food.
Structure
Make sure to provide a clearer conclusion that summarizes your points and restates your opinion on the issue.
Content
The essay presents a balanced view on the topic and successfully discusses both sides of the argument.
Structure
There is a clear introduction that outlines the main points to be discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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