IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the range of technology currently available is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while others believe that it is widening the opportunities for both groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been ongoing debate about the rapid development of
technology
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that it will create a significant gap between wealthy and unwealthy people, others believe that
this
Linking Words
 is not true and the opportunities for both groups are equal. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 both perspectives have merit, I strongly agree with the latter view and will express it in
this
Linking Words
 essay. One perspective is that advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 reinforces inequalities. They believe that high-speed internet, state-of-the-art devices, and specialized software are expensive and less accessible to lower-income communities. The lack of access can limit educational and economic prospects, leading to widening the gap between those who can afford cutting-edge tools and those who cannot.
For example
Linking Words
, some curriculums about AI, and Blockchain which bring a lot of well-paid job opportunities usually take double the tuition than other regular programs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, poor students often do not have enough money to study.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 serve as an equalizer by providing new trends
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 education, and employment. Online courses and remote work platforms have democratized access to knowledge and professional opportunities, enabling individuals from various backgrounds to enhance their skills and improve their livelihoods.
Moreover
Linking Words
, initiatives by governments and non-profit organizations that promote affordable digital access
further
Linking Words
 demonstrate that
technology
Use synonyms
’s benefits can extend to all layers of society, provided that supportive measures are in place. In summary,
while
Linking Words
 the cost and accessibility of
technology
Use synonyms
 can sometimes exacerbate social divides, its potential to empower disadvantaged groups is significant. With thoughtful policies and inclusive initiatives,
technology
Use synonyms
 can function as a tool for reducing inequalities rather than deepening them.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state the opposing views more explicitly for better clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to link your ideas and paragraphs more smoothly to enhance coherence. For example, consider using transition phrases when moving between arguments.
Task Achievement
While your examples are relevant, try to provide a specific example for the second viewpoint as well to improve balance.
Coherence and Cohesion
You presented both perspectives clearly and concisely, maintaining a well-structured argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your opinion, providing a strong closure to your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: