IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

‘It is the job of governments and companies to deal with the huge environmental problems which we face. Individuals on their own can do little or nothing’. What is your opinion about this statement?

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A number of
people
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 advocate that the authorities and organizations should bear the entire responsibility for solving environmental issues.
Moreover
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, individuals like citizens only can contribute little to improving the
environment
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. I totally agree with the above statement and
this
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 essay will explain two major reasons. First and foremost, governments are empowered to regulate policy to promote an environmentally-friendly society
,
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apply
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 and monitor the citizens to follow the regulations.
According to
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 a survey conducted by Hong Kong University in 2017, 67% of residents living in Mong Kok are annoyed by the excessive artificial light. Light pollution influences
people
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's daily routine and quality of living since night becomes day. In fact, the authorities play a vital role in considering the efficient and feasible way to deal with light pollution. Later on, the Hong Kong
environment
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 took action in controlling the brightness of advertisement boards in several districts
such
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 as Mong Kok, Causeway Bay and Tsim Sha Tsui. Companies have lowered the brightness of the advertisement board after 11 o'clock in the evening since the Hong Kong authority announced the new policy of street advertisement. It shows that governments and institutions tackle the problem collaboratively. It is true to say that
people
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 contribute to building up a better
environment
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, but in fact,
people
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 only obey the law so the government are more influential than
people
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 do. In order to deal with abundant disposal, the government has imposed
the
Correct article usage
a
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 disposal tax policy
to
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on
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 the public in 2024. It is compulsory for residents to purchase recognized garbage bags when throwing rubbish.
As a result
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, the number of trash produced will be reduced after implementing the legislation. Hopefully,
this
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 not only encourages pupils to recycle or find ways to reuse their waste
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 reinforces the factories to produce less manufacturing waste. Needless to
say
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say,
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 the environmental impacts of the landfill would be solved gradually if the government carries out effective rules.
To conclude
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, governments and organizations are the leaders in figuring out the solution to solve diverse environmental problems in society. Meanwhile,
public
Correct article usage
the public
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 governed to follow particular rules to foster a better living
environment
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it directly relates to your overall thesis. Consider refining your topic sentences to clearly indicate the focus of each paragraph.
task achievement
Make sure to avoid minor grammatical errors (like subject-verb agreement, e.g., 'the government are more influential') as they can affect clarity. Review your sentences for accuracy in terms of verb forms and agreement.
coherence and cohesion
While your examples are relevant and support your main points, integrating them more smoothly into your argument can enhance the overall flow of your essay. Consider using linking phrases to connect your examples to your points more clearly.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the issue and outlines two major reasons effectively, which contributes to a strong structure.
task achievement
You have used relevant examples from Hong Kong that provide specific evidence to support your points, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
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