Every year, many people move to large cities to live and work. This is one of the biggest problems in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the busy and fast-paced world, a larger amount of individuals are choosing

migarte

Correct your spelling

migrate

migrated

to the developed cities in terms of getting better livelihood and salary for their job. Nowadays, some of them believe that

this

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

of an immense issue

globaly

Correct your spelling

globally

. If asked, I bolster

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

notion to a major extent. My justification is elaborated

further

Linking Words

. There are a plethora of compelling reasons. The most pivotal

one

Use synonyms

wasteing

Correct your spelling

wasting

time. To elaborate

further

Linking Words

, if the folks keep moving from

one

Use synonyms

place to another they will have to start again

such

Linking Words

adjust

Wrong verb form

adjusting

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the new abode and

companey

Correct your spelling

company

companies

which can consume

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of time.

For example

Linking Words

, an increasing number of

humankind's

Change noun form

humankinds

show examples

are suffering from poverty as they are not getting enough money from their work where they live;

however

Linking Words

, other nations

offering

Wrong verb form

offer

show examples

well-pai

Correct your spelling

well-paid

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

with free

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

Therefore

Linking Words

, they select to move there for their bright upcoming year.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, another striking reason is that they have to stay far from their family. To support

this

Linking Words

, as they are living alone, they have to do every home chores

Change preposition

show examples

their own which can make them

mentlly

Correct your spelling

mentally

fragile.

For instance

Linking Words

, working people should have to stay with someone who is helping them with cooking and house chores as they

feels

Change the verb form

feel

show examples

tired after work.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

can impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their mental health

pessimistacally

Correct your spelling

pessimistically

as well as

Linking Words

they feel alone as no

one

Use synonyms

is there to share about their day.

Nonetheless

Linking Words

, I shall not overlook the opposite side,too. To

embark

Verb problem

begin

show examples

with, staying away from family and in

evolved

Correct article usage

an evolved

show examples

city would not only

beneficial

Add a missing verb

be beneficial

show examples

for their

perosonal

Correct your spelling

personal

growth but

also

Linking Words

it will ameliorate their professional growth.

To conclude

Linking Words

, it can be

finally

Linking Words

commented that despite it will be fruitful for own and professional knowledge, my justification convinces that it will ruin our time in moving and they will have to stay

withour

Correct your spelling

with our

without

their near and dear ones are logically acceptable.

DARSHITAThu Feb 06 2025

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language

Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'migarte' should be 'migrate', 'wasting' instead of 'wasteing', and 'company' instead of 'companey'. Mistakes can detract from the clarity of your argument.

content

Make sure all your points are clearly articulated and supported. Some ideas, like the relationship between moving and mental health, could be expanded upon more to strengthen your argument.

structure

Structure your essay more clearly to enhance coherence. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and sufficient development. For instance, separate your explanation about time wastage and isolation into distinct paragraphs to improve flow.

content

You demonstrated a clear stance in your introduction, stating that you agree with the notion that migration to large cities is a significant issue.

content

Your use of examples adds depth to your arguments, such as the mention of people suffering from poverty in their home countries and the need for personal support in a new city.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

318 words

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Every year, many people move to large cities to live and work. This is one of the biggest problems in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Other believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather that compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays people believe that governments should invest tax payers money in healthcare, others believe that money should be use in other areas. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many country, people have health problems because they choose to live in an unhealthy way. Why do you think that people choose to live in an unhealthy way. What can be done about this problem.

Some people believe that touristsdo not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. Discuss both sides .