IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many things which were done in the home by hand in the past are now done by machines. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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There is no denying the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 using
machines
Use synonyms
nowadys
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 is so important to many
people
Use synonyms
.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that there are several pros when
use
Change the verb form
using
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 these new things, it is
also
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 an argument
obosses
Correct your spelling
about
 it.
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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machines
Use synonyms
 help
people
Use synonyms
 to get better in their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 and improve the ways they used to
hanlde
Correct your spelling
handle
 their affairs.
In other words
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, they give them various positives and make it easier
to
Change preposition
for
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 many workers.
In addition
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,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 or factories who have them to use, they save
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
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,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means can do several things in different ways
by
Change preposition
with
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 less effort.
For example
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,
farmer
Add an article
a farmer
the farmer
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 who has
that
Correct determiner usage
a
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 machine to water his plants,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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has the
benfit
Correct your spelling
benefit
to water
Change preposition
of watering
show examples
 a lot of them in
Add an article
a small
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small
Correct word choice
a short
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 period.
On the other hand
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, using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
 so much is
awful
Add an article
an awful
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 thing
to
Change preposition
for
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 humans. It is
also
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 possible to say that, it will make men and women reliable because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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.
Moreover
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,
people
Use synonyms
 need to move and that kind of workout to the body.When they trust so much them and do not
that
Add a missing verb
do that
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 by your hand
that is
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 not good. In conclusion, there is no easy
answres
Correct your spelling
answers
answer
 to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I
tent
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
 helps
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
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promote their work, boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
qulaity
Correct your spelling
quality
 and save their time and
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.

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task achievement
Revise the introduction to offer clearer definitions for the advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. Make sure to clearly state your position.
coherence and cohesion
Break down long sentences for clarity and to improve readability.
task achievement
Use more specific examples and explanations to support your points more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your arguments and counterarguments are balanced and clearly articulated in separate paragraphs.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and addresses the question, showing that you understand the topic.
task achievement
You have made an attempt to provide an example to support your argument, which is a good practice.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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