IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that many specialists ,
such
Linking Words
 as
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 and
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
, should work in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they
graduted
Correct your spelling
graduated
,
while
Linking Words
 others oppose that they should have
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 to select their own path.
Thiss
Correct your spelling
This
 essay will discuss both points and provide personal
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
. On the one hand, the
develeoping
Correct your spelling
developing
country
Use synonyms
 demands a number of effective approaches to improve the well-being of their citizens. In terms of the special knowledge,
such
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 as engineer and doctor,
this
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 will contribute many beneficial effects to the society.
For example
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, many developing countries expect to improve their manufacturing process, requiring many research students and engineers to evaluate the obstacles that will occur. It is the reason
that
Correct word choice
apply
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why the government provides many scholarships to enhance their workforce quality.
Therefore
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, it accumulates the expectation from many
people
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 that these experts should help their own homeland, by sharing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
useful skills to improve the system.
On the other hand
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, personal
right
Use synonyms
 is a basic need for everyone.
People
Use synonyms
 should have
their
Change the word
the
show examples
right
Use synonyms
 to choose where they will grow,
without
Change preposition
up without
show examples
 any hesitation or guilty feeling. Despite the fact that some of them receive
allowance
Add an article
an allowance
show examples
 from the government,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many of them pay for their own tuition fees, and
this
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 should be a fair trade between
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and educational
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
.
Thus
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, these specialists must have their own
right
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 to choose their own growing path.
Moreover
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, many countries do not provide
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
enough support to develop their idea.
For instance
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, some inventions might demand a number of resources
such
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 as
,
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apply
show examples
Correct article usage
a laboratory
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laboratory
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laboratories
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cutting-edge technology and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient teams of researchers, which some
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 are not able to provide them.
Therefore
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, they might need to relocate to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place
that is
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 suitable
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their ability. In conclusion,
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while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
people
Use synonyms
 expect that experts should work only in the
country
Use synonyms
 that they graduated from, and provide their effective skills for
soceity
Correct your spelling
society
. In my opinion, everybody should have a
right
Use synonyms
 to choose their own path
that is
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 suitable for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 skills and creativities.

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coherence and cohesion
In the introduction, be careful to clearly state your position on the topic. Make sure to summarize both viewpoints before stating your opinion.
task achievement
Work on improving grammar and spelling to ensure clarity in your writing. For example, 'graduated' instead of 'graduted' and 'developing country' instead of 'develeping country'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader on the main idea of that paragraph.
task achievement
You have provided a good attempt to discuss both sides of the argument and express your own opinion at the end, which is a crucial part of the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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