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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the percentageof water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information byselecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentageof water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information byselecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts provide information about the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
water
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 used for
industial
Correct your spelling
industrial
, agricultural and domestic
use
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 in six areas of the world.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage of
water
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 in agricultural
use
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 is higher in South
America
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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, the
proportion
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 of
water
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 in industrial
usage
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 is higher in North
America
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 and
Europe
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. From the outset, it can be clearly seen that the
proportion
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 of
water
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 in industrial
usage
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 by North
America
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 and
Europe
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 exhibit slightly different consumption, with the former at 48% and the latter at 53%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
usage
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 of
water
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 in agriculture is higher in North
America
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,
while
Linking Words
Europe
Use synonyms
consume
Change the verb form
consumes
show examples
 32%. The percentage of
water
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use
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 domestic purposes in
Europe
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 at 15%,
while
Linking Words
 in North
America
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slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
 less, at 13%.
Furthermore
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, the
proportion
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 of
water
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usage
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 for agricultural purposes is dominated by South
America
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, Africa, Central
Asia
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 and South East
Asia
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. The figures for
water
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 consumption for agriculture
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 higher in Central
Asia
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 at 88%,
whereas
Linking Words
 South
America
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 exhibits considerably less consumption at 71%, but with the highest
proportion
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 of
water
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use
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 for domestic purposes. In Africa, the percentage of
water
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 for agriculture at 84%,
whereas
Linking Words
 South East
Asia
Use synonyms
 is slightly less is 81%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, water, use, america, asia, usage, europe with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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