IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The illustrations show how chocolate is produced. Korkem.

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The diagram shows how
cacao
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beans
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 are processed from the
cacao
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 tree to the finished liquid
chocolate
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 product.
Overall
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,
this
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 is a man-made process consisting of ten stages, beginning with the harvesting of
cacao
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beans
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then
Correct word choice
and then
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 ending with the extraction of liquid
chocolate
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. The first step involves cocoa trees that are cultivated in tropical areas
such
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South
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as South
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 America, Africa, and Indonesia. When the
cacao
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 pods are ready to be harvested, they are split open to reveal white
cacao
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beans
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.
Subsequently
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, these
beans
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 undergo fermentation, a crucial stage that enhances their
flavor
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flavour
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.
Thereafter
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, the fermented
beans
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 are laid out in the sun to dry before being packed into large sacks for transportation. At
this
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 stage, the dried
beans
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 are loaded onto trucks or lorries and transported to factories, where
further
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 processing takes place. At the factory, the
cacao
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beans
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 are roasted at high temperatures. Once roasted, the
beans
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 are crushed, and their outer shells are removed, leaving only the edible inner parts. The final step involves pressing these inner parts to extract liquid
chocolate
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, which serves as the base for making various
chocolate
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 products.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing a brief summary or concluding statement to wrap up the essay, which would enhance the overall structure and clarity.
task achievement
You can elaborate on each stage slightly more by including quantities or timeframes to give readers a better understanding of the process duration and scale.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured and presents a clear and logical progression of the chocolate production process.
task achievement
You effectively describe each stage of the production process, showcasing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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