IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of deaths caused by terrorist attacks in three countries between 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of deaths caused by terrorist attacks in three countries between 2011 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of mortality caused by violation
attack
Fix the agreement mistake
attacks
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terrorist
Fix the agreement mistake
terrorists
show examples
 in three countries (
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
,
Iraq
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Nigeria
Correct word choice
and Nigeria
show examples
) from 2011 until 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2011 to 2012 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
deaths
Use synonyms
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 slightly. In 2 years from 2012,
Afghanistan
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,
Iraq
Use synonyms
, and
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 have a significant increase in
number
Use synonyms
 of
deaths
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 terrorism. The top
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
 all numbers of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 still led by
Iraq
Use synonyms
, followed by
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 and the
last
Linking Words
 is
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
deaths
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 terrorism
rise
Change the verb form
rises
show examples
 rapidly from 2012 to 2014 in
Iraq
Use synonyms
 and
Nigeria
Use synonyms
. The peak
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 slightly different for both countries (
Iraq
Use synonyms
 around 9000
number
Use synonyms
 and
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 around 7000
number
Use synonyms
) Followed by
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
show examples
 go up steadily from 2012 to 2015. The peak in
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
 just touched 5000
number
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
deaths
Use synonyms
. In 2014,
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
Iraq
Use synonyms
 and
Nigeria
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of mortality
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 quickly
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 2.000
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
deaths
Use synonyms
. The lowest in
Iraq
Use synonyms
 (7000
number
Use synonyms
)
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
Linking Words
above
Change preposition
among
show examples
 all countries. The second bottom change to
Afghanistan
Use synonyms
 around 5100
number
Use synonyms
, have a slight
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 to
Nigeria
Use synonyms
 around 5000
number
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, afghanistan, iraq, nigeria, deaths with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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