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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares seven various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in the country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares seven various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in the country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
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The bar chart illustrates
water
Use synonyms
 consumption across seven different
industries
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—fuel,
food
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 and
drinks
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, machinery, metal,
chemicals
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, paper, and textiles—sourced from both
groundwater
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 and public
water
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 supply. The data is presented in millions of cubic
meters
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
industries
Use synonyms
 rely more on
groundwater
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 than public supply.
However
Linking Words
, the
food
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 and
drinks
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industry
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,
as well as
Linking Words
 the machinery
sector
Use synonyms
, are the only exceptions, consuming more public
water
Use synonyms
 than
groundwater
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. Among all
industries
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, the
chemicals
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sector
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 is the largest consumer of
water
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,
while
Linking Words
 the fuel
industry
Use synonyms
 uses the least. In terms of specific figures, the
chemicals
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sector
Use synonyms
 uses a total of 670
million
Use synonyms
 cubic
meters
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 of
water
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, with
groundwater
Use synonyms
 accounting for 430
million
Use synonyms
 cubic
meters
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—almost double the amount of public supply.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the metal
industry
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 ranks second in
overall
Linking Words
 consumption, using 330
million
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 cubic
meters
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 of
water
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, with
groundwater
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 making up 240
million
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 cubic
meters
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
food
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 and
drinks
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
 primarily depends on public
water
Use synonyms
, consuming 190
million
Use synonyms
 cubic
meters
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 compared to just 110
million
Use synonyms
 from
groundwater
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. The fuel
industry
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 records the lowest total consumption at 80
million
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 cubic
meters
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, of which 70
million
Use synonyms
 comes from
groundwater
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. Meanwhile, both the paper and textiles
industries
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 demonstrate a preference for
groundwater
Use synonyms
 over public
water
Use synonyms
, following a similar pattern to most other
industries
Use synonyms
. To summarize, the
chemicals
Use synonyms
sector
Use synonyms
 is the most
water
Use synonyms
-intensive
industry
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 fuel requires the least.
Additionally
Linking Words
, most
industries
Use synonyms
 rely heavily on
groundwater
Use synonyms
, with the
food
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 and
drinks
Use synonyms
 and machinery sectors being notable exceptions in
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
 public supply.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, food, drinks, chemicals, groundwater, meters, industries, industry, sector, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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