IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, international tourism has become an important source of income. However, it also has negative effects. Do the benefits of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nowadays, the trend of tourism has grown predominantly in order to enhance
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 economy;
however
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, it
also
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 pessimistic impacts on individuals.
This
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 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 own rewards and detriments. If pondered,
pros
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the pros
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 of
this
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 situation surpasses the cons. My justification is elaborated
further
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. Discussing the benefits, there are a plethora of positive aspects. The most prominent one is fostering knowledge about various cultures and traditions. To elaborate
further
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, a major amount of people like to explore genres nations.
This
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 would not only be beneficial for their knowledge but
also
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 it will
ulter
Correct your spelling
alter
 everyone's monotonous routine.
For example
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, the person who is working full-time in terms of earning money
and
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apply
show examples
because of
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apply
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that
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apply
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they
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apply
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might not get enough time for family and travel
distinct
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to distinct
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 places.
Therefore
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, they should have to go for relaxation.
Furthermore
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, it will be paramount for the native land as they will earn more because of
the
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apply
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tourism. To add to
this
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, if
the
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a
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 significant number of travellers come
for visiting
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to visit
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,
which
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it
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 can increase the growth of local businesses
such
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 as water
bottels
Correct your spelling
bottles
, snacks and so on. There are myriad downsides too, which can not be ignored.
Firstly
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,
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 can harm the ancient monuments. To support
this
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, as more and more folks visit the place
and
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apply
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they will throw the
garbadge
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garbage
 anywhere which can alleviate the attraction of the place. One good illustration is that
,
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apply
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 not all of the travellers are educated,
hence
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, they
does
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do
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 not know about the importance of
maintain
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maintaining
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the
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apply
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discipline and
throw
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throwing
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 litter only
on
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in
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garbadge
Correct your spelling
garbage
 bins which can
impect
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affect
 on
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 as well. As the government might have to pay for
renovation
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the renovation
a renovation
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.
To conclude
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,
according to
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 aforementioned
pointsm
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points
 it can be
finally
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 commented that there are numerous merits
such
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 as
enchancing
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enhancing
 knowledge about culture and fostering local businesses ;
whereas
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, there are few demerits
such
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 as it will ruin the ancient monuments, indeed.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main arguments. Make it easier for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence and cohesion
Try to structure your body paragraphs more clearly by introducing each point more explicitly, which will help readers understand the flow of your arguments better.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points fully. This will strengthen your argument and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
grammar
Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve overall clarity. For instance, make sure subject-verb agreement is maintained and spelling is accurate.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the benefits and disadvantages of international tourism, which is relevant to the prompt.
task achievement
You have successfully included personal insights and examples, adding a personal touch to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Revenue
  • Accommodation
  • Cultural exchange
  • Infrastructure
  • Pollution
  • Erosion
  • Overcrowding
  • Economic dependency
  • Global events
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Mutual understanding
  • Strain on natural resources
  • Foot traffic
  • Local traditions and customs
  • Cultural awareness
  • Vulnerable
  • Pandemics
  • Political instability
  • Residue
  • Host country
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