IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get the news. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Numerous human beings globally consume social
media
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platforms
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 to maintain
connection
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connections
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 with other humans and reach the news. In my opinion, the benefits of consumption of social
media
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 applications outweigh the drawbacks. On the one hand, using WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter and Telegram for communication with their relatives and friends
in addition
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 to
garner
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garnering
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 new
information
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throughout
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through
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 these programs.
In other words
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, using these
platforms
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 has
an
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the
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 obvious advantages of facilitating personal contact with their loves in
comfortable
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a comfortable
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, convenient and manageable way by using technology in order to attain the news.
For instance
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,
a
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in a
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study conducted at King Abdulaziz University in Jeddah on the proportion of
population
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the population
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use of
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using
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 social
media
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 applications for communication purposes the results have shown 80% of men and women used these
platforms
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.
On the other hand
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, when some people depend on Twitter and WhatsApp as the main sources for getting
information
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 might lead to undesirable consequences. In other terms, the most disadvantageous point of using social
media
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that
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apply
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includes some unreliable resources are which leads to serious complications especially if the data related to medical
information
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.
For example
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, there was a survey published at Makkah Newspaper on the percentage of getting inaccurate
information
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 by using social
media
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 the results showed
30
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that 30
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% of
information
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 distributed in those programs was misleading data.
Therefore
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, should the government establish a strict regulation and policies to decrease
this
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 phenomenon
.
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?
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 In conclusion, today larger number of humankind use social
media
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 to obtain news and keep in touch with their relatives and friends It enhances communication between people with easy handle method which is considered a huge benefit .
However
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, some social
media
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platforms
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 may provide misinformation
for
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apply
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that must the government to tackle
this
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 issue. From my perspective, the benefits of using these programs outweigh the downsides.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to make your opinion on the advantages and disadvantages clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your ideas in the paragraphs. Use transition words or phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Make sure to include relevant examples that directly support your claims to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present relevant points about the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
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