IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If the product is good and meets consumer needs than advertising is unnecessary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some argue whether flair for a
product
Use synonyms
 that
fulfills
Change the spelling
fulfils
show examples
 both demand and expectations requires advertising. I opt for media marketing usage regardless of how good the item is because it gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control over
message
Correct article usage
the message
show examples
 when it comes to new information about it,
jobs
Correct word choice
and jobs
show examples
 and allows to position the brand and
people
Use synonyms
's view on it.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, marketing creates the perception of the
product
Use synonyms
. Through commercials, companies can set brand positioning and influence customers'
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, Coca-Cola shows in its advertising smiling
people
Use synonyms
 and joyful time with families
while
Linking Words
 they drink the beverage.
This
Linking Words
 way they build in
people
Use synonyms
's minds the impression that the
product
Use synonyms
 gives lots of enjoyment and is associated with a warm feeling. It is something impossible to achieve without using advertisements.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it helps to inform about changes and opportunities within a firm.
For example
Linking Words
, we can see reclame of job vacancies. Certainly,
people
Use synonyms
 are one of the most valuable resources in each organization;
therefore
Linking Words
, attracting new workers through media helps it to grow.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is much better to inform
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
firms
Change noun form
firm's
show examples
 own about the improvement rather than others will discover it on their own. Nowadays, being first is essential and it is crucial to have control over spreading information about new figures because some
people
Use synonyms
 without
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clear
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
show examples
 can miss the innovation.
To sum up
Linking Words
, even though some think that commercials are not necessary.
However
Linking Words
, if we do not use them, firms will lose control over the interpretation of their image and new characteristics of the
product
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 will not gain the possibility to reach a bigger audience when they are looking for workers.
That is
Linking Words
 why, I strongly believe that no matter how good the
product
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to provide a clearer link between your thesis statement and the arguments you present. Each point should closely align with your main argument indicating the importance of advertising even for a good product.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea, supported by examples. Transitions between ideas can enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid concluding with a fragment. Your final sentence seems incomplete; a strong conclusion should encapsulate your main arguments and reassert your position.
task achievement
You present valid points about the role of advertising in shaping perceptions and controlling messaging.
task achievement
Your use of examples like Coca-Cola effectively illustrates your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: