IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Most companies apply certain rules for their employees
such
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 as the style of dress. Just as they believe that smart clothing will have a positive effect on
work
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, others
also
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 note that the quality of
work
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 is more important than the employee's clothing. On the one hand, it cannot be denied that in places
such
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 as banks or hospitals, if
people
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 dress more neatly or smartly, it will be easier for them to focus on their
work
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 and do quality
work
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.
In addition
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, in some state institutions, the presence of a strict dress code ensures professionalism and creates trust at first impression.
In addition
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, decisions made in some countries regarding clothing have achieved positive results.
For example
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, in the Republic of Azerbaijan, the introduction of a white shirt and black trousers or skirts for teachers since 2018 has seriously affected students in educational institutions.
On the other hand
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, there are certain fields of
work
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,
such
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 as design and painting, where
people
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 prefer a more relaxed style of clothing and a quieter environment for a creative approach.
Also
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, clothing that reflects their inner world shows their taste and abilities. Applying a ban on clothing to
such
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people
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 is an unsuccessful result. So, it is clearly seen that all
people
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 involved in creativity, from the oldest to the present,
that is
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, 100%, prefer free clothing. And
this
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 is the reason why they are more successful in their
work
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. In conclusion,
although
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 I think that smart clothing will be useful for
people
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 depending on their workplace, I support its application not being forced in all workplaces.

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introduction
The introduction could be more engaging by clearly outlining both perspectives before stating your opinion, enhancing the overall clarity of the essay.
support
Consider providing more detailed examples to support the points made, particularly in the second main point regarding creative professions to strengthen your argument.
coherence
Ensure clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your ideas more effectively.
content
Your discussion on the impact of dress codes in professional environments is well-articulated and relevant, showing a good understanding of the topic.
example
The use of a specific example from Azerbaijan regarding teachers' dress code is a strong point that adds credibility to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionalism
  • first impression
  • competent
  • dedicated
  • organizational culture
  • teamwork
  • creativity
  • productivity
  • dress code
  • comfort
  • individuality
  • job satisfaction
  • client-facing
  • nature of the job
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