Some people believe school children should be given multiple short vacations, while others believe they should get one long vacation. Give advantages of both and express your own point of views.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is no denying the fact that students need

vacations

Use synonyms

to recharge and focus on

another creative aspects

Replace the adjective

another creative aspect

other creative aspects

show examples

Although

Linking Words

many people

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that

children

Use synonyms

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

take multiple short

vacations

Use synonyms

,others believe that

one

Use synonyms

long

vacation

Use synonyms

annually will be more

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate

both

Change preposition

on both

show examples

points of view and give my opinion. On the

one

Use synonyms

hand , multiple short

vacations

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

different times of the year will contribute

Change preposition

show examples

their mental and physical stability by providing breaks after each

semster

Correct your spelling

semester

Furthermore

Linking Words

, these short period

holidays

Use synonyms

will recharge the child and enhance their production

in addition

Linking Words

to their ability to

accomplished

Wrong verb form

accomplish

show examples

lessons.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Iraq ,the

children

Use synonyms

take two

Use synonyms

vacation

Change to a plural noun

vacations

show examples

in the year (

summur

Correct your spelling

summer

and spring

vacations

Use synonyms

) and in western

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

the school

children

Use synonyms

take various

holidays

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

different times and

accousions

Correct your spelling

occasions

accusations

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

opinion

carry

Change the verb form

carries

show examples

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

drawback

Fix the agreement mistake

drawbacks

show examples

since the

childrens

Change to a genitive case

children's

show examples

intellectual thoughts will

interrupts

Add a missing verb

be interrupts

show examples

multiple times and require them

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to get into

Correct article usage

the studing

show examples

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

atmosphere again.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, taking

one

Use synonyms

long

vacation

Use synonyms

will enhance the

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

ability to invest their time into creative activities

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

summer school,art ,playing sports ,and playing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

musical instruments

in addition

Linking Words

to spending more time with their parents.

Furthermore

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

annual

vacation

Use synonyms

will

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

the child to focus and not get distracted between semesters .

Although

Linking Words

one

Use synonyms

vacation

Use synonyms

carry

Change the verb form

carries

show examples

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

of mertis , many

countris

Correct your spelling

countries

do not apply it

due to

Linking Words

the various occasions like the

new year

Correct your spelling

New Year

show examples

holiday ,

national

Correct word choice

and national

show examples

and

thanksgiving

Capitalize word

Thanksgiving

show examples

holidays

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, both points of view have pros and cons .

Although

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

as well as

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

believe in the need for

one

Use synonyms

holiday , the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of occasions and the system of many

government

Change to a plural noun

governments

show examples

imposes various

holidays

Use synonyms

youmnamaher91Sat Feb 08 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider improving the clarity of your argument by ensuring each point is directly related to the question.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied vocabulary and grammatical structures to enhance your writing style.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to proofread your work to reduce grammatical errors and enhance readability.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument and provided relevant examples in every point.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consistently
frequent intervals
preventing burnout
information retention
consolidate knowledge
short getaways
strengthening family bonds
comprehensive rest
unwind
mental and emotional recharging
structured planning
extensive trips
academic projects
internships
continuity
in-depth understanding

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?
Throughout history, Raising children are one of the most important challenges of every human's life. One controversial issue, these days, is whether punishing a child is a good or bad thing. There are two types of punishment: physical and mental. Not only do some proponents advocate this issue, but also the opponents take a reverse side.
6.5
band
Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the causes for being overweight and provide solutions.
In past decades, people were more concerned about having a healthy life and controlling weight for many reasons. Although in some regions of the world the cases of obesity and health problems have greatly increased, I think that one of the major problems is that people do not have time to eat healthily, and fast foods are an easy option. Another problem is that some people do not like to do exercises to improve their physical fitness levels. Nevertheless, there are solutions to these two problems.
6
band
Some people give more importance to artistics painters, writers, musicians) in the current age of rapidly developing technology and science. What do you think? Do people prefer arts to technology in your views?
In the modern era, there are numerous cutting-edge technology devices to make people immersed in their lives. But some people think it is vital for artists to perform their perfect shows rather than the influence of technology. In my opinion, although the artist contributes many mental values, it cannot overweigh the power of technology, especially in today's world.
7
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The most sufficient purpose of science should be making men's and women's lives better. This essay completely agrees with this statement, as people's well-being, including their minds and bodies, is crucial for the world.
7
band
The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undoubtedly true that scientific research has changed the way of living humans. Some Individuals ponder that the government should only allocate massive funds to burgeon scientific research as well as the science domain but I totally disagree with this notion. I will discuss all the reasons that support my stance in the upcoming paragraphs.

Some people believe school children should be given multiple short vacations, while others believe they should get one long vacation. Give advantages of both and express your own point of views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Being overweight has become a major health concern in many parts of the world. Explain the causes for being overweight and provide solutions.

Some people give more importance to artistics painters, writers, musicians) in the current age of rapidly developing technology and science. What do you think? Do people prefer arts to technology in your views?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?