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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people buying and drinking tea and
coffee
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 in five
cities
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of people who went to a café for
coffee
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 or tea and of those who bought fresh
coffee
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 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
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 4 weeks is higher
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the third group of instant
coffee
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 buyers in all five
cities
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. The number of customers who prefer instant
coffeestands
Correct your spelling
coffee stands
coffee-stands
 between 45-54% in all
cities
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,
while
Linking Words
 representatives of the other two groups don't follow a certain trend. Regarding those who visited a café for
coffee
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 or tea, in Melbourne and Hobart they equal approximately 62-63%,
while
Linking Words
 in Sydney, Brisbane and Adelaide their
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percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 stands at 60%, 55% and 49% respectively. The number of instant
coffee
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 buyers is around 53-54% in Brisbane and Hobart, compared to Sydney, Melbourne and Adelaide with lower
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 type of customers. Speaking about the
last
Linking Words
 group, in Sydney and Melbourne the
percentage
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 of people who drink fresh
coffee
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 is almost the same. In the other three
cities
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, their number is lower, fluctuating between 34 and 38%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, coffee, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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