IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
Linking Words
 modern
era
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era,
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 everyone wants to become rich person in their life. Nowadays, folks are
judging
Wrong verb form
judged
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 by their income, fashions and
according to
Linking Words
 their fashion status because as per few people traditional
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
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, old cultures , believes are not
essentional
Correct your spelling
essential
 anymore but on vey
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
 is contradictory of
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both of both opinions in the forthcoming paragraphs. First and foremost, In
this
Linking Words
21
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21st
century
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century,
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 everyone doing hard work to become wealthy in their life which is very important for
good
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a good
the good
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 life.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Few are judging
to
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
with
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by
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 their
cloths
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clothes
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 and social networking because
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 thoughts with those they are living style is tremendously good.
For instance
Linking Words
,
let
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let's
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suppose we are going
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to any
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any
Correct determiner usage
a
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 pub we are not allowed
with
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to
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 sleepers
and
Correct word choice
apply
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simple
dress
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dresses
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 they are not
giving
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given
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 permission
for
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to
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entry
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enter
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, our
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traditional
tradional
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traditional
 values
culture
Correct word choice
and culture
show examples

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task achievement
Enhance your introduction to clearly outline the main arguments you will discuss and develop your thesis statement for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your points effectively and use appropriate linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or personal experiences to support your points, as this can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have attempted to present multiple viewpoints on the issue, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the topic.
task achievement
Your intention to discuss both sides of the argument is commendable, as it reflects critical thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Materialism
  • Social status
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honor
  • Kindness
  • Integrity
  • Consumerism
  • Superficiality
  • Ephemeral
  • Philanthropy
  • Prosperity
  • Altruism
  • Narcissism
  • Humility
  • Empathy
  • Ethics
  • Moral compass
  • Minimalist
  • Contentment
  • Material possessions
  • Status symbol
  • Wealth disparity
  • Moral bankruptcy
What to do next:
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