Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of job should be highly paid?

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Few individuals believe that media people and other famous celebrities are getting more salaries than other professionals. I strongly agree with the statement because, even numerous amateur actors are paid a lot of money

due to

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the trend in the industry, with minimal effort and hard work. One of the predominant industries is Medical services, which should be given higher wages. On one hand, newcomers in the field of acting, singing and sports are treated as celebrities after their initial appearance and they obtain fame immediately.

Therefore

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, the minimum wage for them automatically increases exponentially.

Additionally

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, sponsorship

also

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provides them with more money.

Moreover

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, genuine hard work, dedication and knowledge should possess true value rather than just fame.

For example

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, In 2023, the government and other private organizations awarded cash prizes to 15 amateur singers irrespective of talent.

On the other hand

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, medical professionals all over the world are facing issues with lower wages. Even though

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they provide selfless service to

the

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society, their job should be appreciated with great respect and higher income.

However

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, the government has taken measures to mitigate the problem by establishing a new protocol.

For instance

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, during the 7th pay commission, the medical service worker's income was said to

Verb problem

have

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increased by 40%, but there was a delay in implementing the plan until March 2025. In conclusion, every profession should be treated preferably with a minimum standard wage.

This

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ensures that equality in society and Stability will be retained consistently. The trend of inequality in treating professionals should have vanished.

kr.kumbadevSun Feb 09 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more detailed arguments and examples to support your opinions on the wage disparity. For instance, you could elaborate on the impact of entertainers' earnings on society compared to medical professionals' contributions.

coherence

Try to improve the logical flow between paragraphs. You could use clearer transition phrases to link your ideas more smoothly, which will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific examples or statistics to illustrate your points, especially in the sections about the medical profession and the entertainment industry.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear opinion and conclusion, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

coherence

You included relevant comparisons between different professions, which is essential for answering the prompt effectively.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Some people feel that entertainers (e.g. film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of job should be highly paid?

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think it is more important to plant more tree in open areas in towns and cities than provide more housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way why is this? do you think it is positive or negative development?