Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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It is often said that schools are too competitive and that

this

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has a negative effect on

children

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while

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others

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believe that

children

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are encouraged to achieve by competition.

This

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essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, an academically challenging atmosphere offers various benefits, as it significantly impacts

children

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's success. These range from understanding a competitive environment

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apply

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to developing a strong work ethic and valuable skills.

For instance

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, many high school programs have sports teams that compete with other classmates.

As a result

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this

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has a positive impact on various aspects of their personality,

such

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as understanding

others

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, solving problems together and expanding their knowledge. Another argument is the emotional advocacy that

children

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receive from

others

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, which makes them feel ambitious and independent.

By contrast

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, opponents of

this

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view point out the negative effects on students. Examples can be seen in introverted pupils, many of them feel insecure

due to

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poor ability to complete tasks or feeling inadequacy.

This

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kind of emotional breakdown tends to make a child unable to express

oneself

Correct pronoun usage

herself

show examples

For example

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, a child who repeatedly scores lower on tests may start to believe they are not intelligent enough, causing them to withdraw from social interactions and academic activities. In conclusion, many

children

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develop their skills through competition,

while

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others

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require special attention to their personal growth. In my opinion, a rivalrous setting encourages

children

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to accomplish,

however

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, some

children

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should be prevented from excessive pressure.

enkjnbatSun Feb 09 2025

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task achievement

Consider expanding your examples to further illustrate your points. Provide specific instances or case studies of how competition has positively or negatively impacted students' lives.

coherence and cohesion

Work on enhancing the transitions between your paragraphs. Using more cohesive devices can help clarify your arguments and make the progression of ideas smoother.

coherence and cohesion

Try to provide a more balanced view in your conclusion by briefly summarizing both sides before stating your opinion, giving it more weight.

content

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, establishing your viewpoint effectively.

task achievement

You discuss both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

undue stress
academic achievement
critical thinking
interpersonal skills
unhealthy rivalries
social isolation
bullying
reduced collaboration
motivation
achieve their goals
resilience
perseverance
innovation
improvement
outperform
higher standards

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Some people think that schools are too competitive and that this has a negative impact on children. Others believe the competitive environment encourages children to achieve. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

International travel has become more affordable and many countries are opening their doors to increase the number of tourists. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The best way to reduce youth crime is to educate parents about good parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.