IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think developing countries should invite large foreign companies to open offices and factories to grow their economies. Others think developing countries should keep the large companies out and develop local companies instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Some
people
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 believe that developing countries should invite large foreign
companies
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 to open offices and factories to help their economies grow. They think these
companies
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 bring jobs, technology, and investment, which can improve the
country
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's economy.
For example
Linking Words
, when big
companies
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 open factories in a developing
country
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, they can create many jobs for local
people
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.
This
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 helps reduce unemployment and provides workers with new skills.
Additionally
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, foreign
companies
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 often bring new technology, which can help local
businesses
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 become more competitive.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 think developing countries should focus on building local
companies
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instead
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 of allowing large foreign
companies
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 to enter. They believe that local
businesses
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 can create more sustainable growth. By supporting local
companies
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, a
country
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 can keep the money and resources within its borders. Local
businesses
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also
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 understand the needs of their community better and can provide goods and services that are more relevant to the
people
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.
For instance
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, local
businesses
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 may focus on products that are more affordable for the average person in the
country
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. In my opinion, both ideas have advantages. Foreign
companies
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 can help the economy grow quickly by bringing in investment and technology.
However
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, developing local
companies
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 is important for long-term growth and independence. A balance between the two is ideal. Developing countries should encourage foreign investment
while
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also
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 supporting the growth of local
businesses
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.
This
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 way, they can benefit from both global connections and strong local economies.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating more on your examples, as they can strengthen your argument significantly. Adding more specific details about how companies bring technology or skills can provide clearer evidence for your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all main points are clearly linked in your paragraphs to enhance coherence. For example, transitions between ideas could be smoother to reinforce the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen your conclusion by summarizing the key points made in the essay in a more pronounced way. A clearer reiteration will help reinforce your position.
content
The essay presents a balanced view of both perspectives, showcasing your understanding of the topic.
structure
The structure of the essay is generally clear, with distinct sections for the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Foreign direct investment (FDI)
  • Job creation
  • Advanced technologies
  • Skill development
  • Economic dependency
  • Infrastructure improvement
  • Homegrown industries
  • Equitable economic development
  • Cultural identity
  • Sustainable practices
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