IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the plans below show the layout of a university's sports cenre now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

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The
two
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 maps depict the plan of the university's sports centre today and how it will be in the future.
Overall
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, it can be seen that
whereas
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 the layout of the centre is very simple now, it will be very complicated in the upcoming design. There are the
two
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 outdoor courts symmetry each other on the left and
right
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 sides of the academia's sports centre presently.
Moreover
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, there is a gym on top of the
pool
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.
Furthermore
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, the changing room is situated on the left side of the
pool
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. The seating area is located on the
right
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 of it.
In contrast
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, some facilities will be positioned on the new outline. The gym will be enlarged in its place. There will not be any change to the changing room on the left side of the
pool
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.
However
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, the
two
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 new extra changing rooms will be situated symmetrically on the left and
right
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 of the entrance.
Additionally
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, the leisure
pool
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 will be established on the left side of the map. A sports hall will be added.
Furthermore
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, the
two
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 dance studios will be located on the
right
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 of the map. A café will be located on the
right
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 of the entrance.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use more precise language when describing the layouts, as some terms could be clearer, such as ‘symmetry’ which might be better as ‘symmetrical’ in the sentence.
task achievement
Consider providing a summary or conclusion to encapsulate your main points more effectively at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Try to better connect your ideas between sentences and paragraphs for smoother transitions, which can enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay clearly identifies the main changes planned for the sports centre, which is essential for the task.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction that sets the stage for your discussion, helping to guide the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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