Famous actors and some professional sports people command a very high salary. Some people think that this is fair because salaries should be based on people's gift and talents. Others, however, believe that person's salary should be based on their contribution to society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The individuals' income

according to

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their profession is a debatable topic among people. Proponents believe that the earnings of talented individuals

such

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Remove the comma

apply

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celebrities and athletes are higher than those of normal candidates. In my opinion, the consistency and dedication of sportsmen deserve higher payment.

This

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essay will

further

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elaborate on both perspectives and

thus

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will lead to a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement

further

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, the first and foremost reason behind

this

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is that an artist's or athlete's career demands discipline and dedicated commitment to their profession.

Moreover

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, these professions have a minimal success rate, celebrities not only achieve personal recognition but

also

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contribute to elevating the reputation of their nation. Another striking aspect in

this

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regard is that the engagement of the masses toward stars is massive. Multinational companies invest in famous personalities to enhance their product value and capture a larger consumer market through brand endorsements and product advertisements. Ultimately, the fame of a single person can contribute to the economic growth of a country.

Hence

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, it is apparent why many support the idea that a superstar’s higher income stands them in good stead. On second thought, a couple of reasons drive me to consider the opposite notion as well, the contribution of teachers, doctors, nurses and emergency responders is an essential part of the community and they often earn a fraction of what sportspeople make,

instead

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of paying high income to the start footballer, authorities should circulate fund to improve infrastructure

such

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as, Schools, Hospitals and Industrialization. To recapitulate,

according to

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the arguments and aforementioned, one reaches the conclusion that the dedication perseverance and influence on society of celebrities justifies their demand for higher pay.

Nevertheless

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, it is crucial to address the broader issue of economic inequality and ensure that other essential professions are adequately valued and compensated.

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Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using more varied sentence structures and transitioning phrases to enhance the flow of your essay.

Task Achievement

Expand on some ideas with more details or examples to create a stronger impact, especially in the second paragraph.

Task Achievement

Strong introduction that sets the stage for the discussion and clearly states your opinion.

Coherence and Cohesion

Well-structured arguments that present both sides of the debate before concluding your perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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