It is important for people to take risks, both in theirprofessional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risksoutweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years unemployment rates have spiked
due to
Linking Words
AI technology most companies are reducing employment by replacing computers, So it is of paramount importance to take potential
risks
Use synonyms
in their professional life and personal lives to succeed in
this
Linking Words
technology world In
this
Linking Words
competitive world without taking
risks
Use synonyms
it's very hard to survive so after a professional career whenever we get some little amount of time put the full effort and gain some additional skills and knowledge
For instance
Linking Words
, learning a culinary program is very advantageous because a very ordinary people able to run a 500 square feet cafe business its leads to a second income and still we manage to operate the business during our professional lives
For example
Linking Words
, Hiring some professional chefs and provide some training the more effort we add the more restaurants able to open to achieve. There are key challenges in
this
Linking Words
fashion world so making a second and third income could make a person more successful
For instance
Linking Words
, by Renting a room or transport most people are staying in a rental house for them developing personal skills like hair stylist, plumbing, electrical works can able to start an online service business after their office work In conclusion, I believe that taking
risks
Use synonyms
is a better option than doing nothing because it generates good income so those who take potential
risks
Use synonyms
can have a wonderful lifestyle
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can provide a good education to their kids.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
The introduction can be more focused by clearly stating your viewpoint on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Also, aim to incorporate a clear thesis statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some paragraphs can be more logically structured. Make sure each paragraph discusses one main idea clearly, and that you use appropriate linking words.
Task Achievement
Ensure that each main point is supported by relevant examples that are detailed enough to illustrate your point effectively. Consider elaborating less on general ideas and providing more depth in your examples.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic and discusses the importance of taking risks in both personal and professional lives.
Task Achievement
You presented some interesting examples, such as opening a cafe or starting a service business, which help to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Success
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Confidence
  • Resilience
  • Experiences
  • Lessons
  • Self-discovery
  • Fear
  • Comfort zones
  • Decision-making
  • Adventures
  • Failure
  • Setbacks
  • Instability
  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Relationships
  • Balancing
What to do next:
Look at other essays: