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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about the population of New Zealand from 2011 to 2012 by age group. Summarize the formation by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart represents the percentage of people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 New Zealand between 2011 and 2012 in
defferent
Correct your spelling
different
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the table, it is
cleat
Correct your spelling
clear
show examples
 that, the proportion of all
ages
Use synonyms
, 40-64, and 9ver 65 groups were increased.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there were decreased
age
Use synonyms
 groups in
range
Add an article
the range
a range
show examples
 from under 15 to 39. Looking more closely at the graph,
firstly
Linking Words
, the figure for all
ages
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
went up by 0.6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 from 2011
gto
Correct your spelling
to
 2012.
Also
Linking Words
, in
age
Use synonyms
 40-64 group was recorded
increasing
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
 the same
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 with all
Use synonyms
ages group
Fix the agreement mistake
age groups
show examples
. Meanwhile, young
age
Use synonyms
 people
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under 15 reduced by 0.2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and it was the same
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 15 between 39
ages
Use synonyms
 group. Even
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-39 and 40-64 groups
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
demogrphic
Correct your spelling
demographic
demographics
 figures but they showed
reversed
Add an article
a reversed
show examples
 pattern in the year 2012.
Whereas
Linking Words
, It is noticeable that, elderly in over 65 was soared
rdcording
Correct your spelling
recording
recordings
 plus 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 during the given period.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, ages, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • population growth
  • age group
  • increase
  • decline
  • elderly population
  • aging population
  • working-age population
  • stable labor force
  • modest increase
  • significant change
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