IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that,
people
Use synonyms
 who work as physicians or engineers ,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
remain in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they trained in.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held
believe
Replace the word
belief
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 that, once you are out of your
country
Use synonyms
 , you will gain more, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes it. In
this
Linking Words
 essay , I will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, working in your own
country
Use synonyms
 has a number of pros and cons.
finding
Capitalize word
Finding
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 a job
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 would be much easier, compared to other sites. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
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, in your home, you know the ways of travelling and transportation well,
Use synonyms
people
Correct word choice
and people
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talk
Verb problem
speak
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 your mother tongue language, that's a great benefit.
In addition
Linking Words
, you will be surrounded by your family members, and have them beside
in
Correct pronoun usage
you in
show examples
 the hard times. Of course, all of these things
encourages
Change the verb form
encourage
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 individuals to work in their home
country
Use synonyms
, but the financial side is not doing so.
For example
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, a Specialist physician
get
Change the verb form
gets
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 paid 10 times more in
Add an article
the united
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united
Capitalize word
United
show examples
state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 than
any
Change preposition
in any
show examples
 other
country
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, travelling abroad is a dream of most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 aiming for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high salaries, and
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 life change. it is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that working in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
country
Use synonyms
 provides you with personal strength to face obstacles, as you
remained
Wrong verb form
remain
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dependant
Replace the word
dependent
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 on
your self
Correct your spelling
yourself
show examples
. Apart from the satisfactory life experience aimed for, working in other
country
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 you to know
people
Use synonyms
 from different nationalities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you may learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 language and gain new
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all of these, sometimes you feel lonely, even get sick and have no one to take care of you. In conclusion , there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. In balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that once you find a great job offer
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 refuse
go
Fix the infinitive
to go
show examples
 for it and claim it , as you are going to live one life ,so live it the way you want.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both views on the topic and clearly outlines your opinion. This will help set up the reader's expectations.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas. Linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively can enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
When providing examples, make sure they are more specific and detailed to better support your points. For instance, provide more context for the salary differences you mention.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance on the topic and encourages a personal perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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