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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The given table represents the amount of four types of renewable production of electricity in the world between four years.

The given table represents the amount of four types of renewable production of electricity in the world between four years.
The given table represents the amount of four types of renewable production of electricity in the world
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 four years.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
power
Use synonyms
 sources increased
in
Change preposition
at
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 different times and by
vary
Change the form of the verb
varying
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 degrees.
Hydraullic
Correct your spelling
Hydraulic
Hydraulics
 is
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
show examples
source
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 its increasing energy
power
Use synonyms
 all the investigating period.
According
Add the preposition
According to
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 the table hydraulling has generated the greatest number of energy for given years.
Such
Linking Words
 as it preceded more than 3000
watts
Use synonyms
 of
power
Use synonyms
 first year, but it rose
334.2
Change preposition
to 334.2
show examples
watt
Change to a plural noun
watts
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 in 2012.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Solar generated 21
watts
Use synonyms
 in 2009, but it peaked
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dramatically, with 83
watts
Use synonyms
differ
Replace the word
different
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in
Change preposition
from
show examples
last
Linking Words
 year. Obviously, the Solar surpassed geothermal which
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 on its 70.4 in 2012. Meanwhile, the wind and the
bio- mass
Correct your spelling
bio-mass
show examples
, there are
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 dependable
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
power
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
 the wind was given 276.4
watts
Use synonyms
 in 2009, it doubled up in 2012.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the
hydraulling
Correct your spelling
hydraulic
 became the most powerful electricity
source
Use synonyms
 with its rose. The
bio- mass
Correct your spelling
bio-mass
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 is the least powerful
source
Use synonyms
energy
Change preposition
of energy
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it increased year- by year during four years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, source, watts with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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