In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many go to shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
not just as
consumer
Add an article
a consumer
show examples
, but
also
Linking Words
for fulfilling their leisure time.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
of people believe there will be a time
that
Correct word choice
when
show examples
entertainment
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
purpose of attending
malls
Use synonyms
. I’m going to discuss
this
Linking Words
topic and
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
my opinion. Today there are many activities which can be done in shopping
malls
Use synonyms
to have
fun
Use synonyms
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
shopping. Having
nice
Add an article
a nice
show examples
meal is one of them. Food
court
Fix the agreement mistake
courts
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
become an inseparable part of modern
malls
Use synonyms
, and they are not just cheap and easy access
fast
Change preposition
to fast
show examples
foods
such
Linking Words
as
MacDonald
Change noun form
MacDonald's
show examples
or KFC, but they are
also
Linking Words
fancy, luxurious restaurants that are
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a quality which is suitable even for dates. For me, who I’m a person with a great desire for food,
this
Linking Words
food-floor
Correct your spelling
food floor
show examples
is a perfect thing that I go for it even when I don’t have anything to do in
mall
Add an article
the mall
show examples
. Another thing
that is
Linking Words
inevitable in these contemporary sheltered so-many-storied markets, is an area for amusement
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people can have
fun
Use synonyms
with their family and friends.
For instance
Linking Words
, bowling is
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
of the most popular sports
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
it’s
fun
Use synonyms
to do it with
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
peers. Escape rooms with horror or mysterious stories satisfy your
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for excitement. Personally, I prefer ice skating as my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
activity to do in shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. I strongly believe, because of all
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
fun
Use synonyms
and equipment in
malls
Use synonyms
, day by day the number of people who are not there for shopping will
be boost
Change the verb form
be boosted
show examples
as
malls
Use synonyms
going to be improved.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there will be a future
that
Change preposition
in
show examples
shopping
Correct pronoun usage
which shopping
show examples
centers do nothing with buying and selling.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and provides a brief overview of the points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases to improve the flow between ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
Provide more developed examples or reasons to strengthen your main points, as some ideas are introduced but not explored in depth.
content
You have identified relevant activities in shopping malls that contribute to the entertainment aspect, which is a good approach for the topic.
content
Your personal preferences presented in the essay add a unique touch, making your argument more relatable.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: