IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadys
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, some individuals believe that the most serious
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problem is
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of some rare species of plants and animals,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that there are some more environmental issues which are significant to focus
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
According to
Linking Words
 my perspective, every
issues
Change to a singular noun
issue
show examples
 related to
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 prominent. On the one hand, It is an undeniable fact that many plants and
aninals
Correct your spelling
animals
 are about to die and we need to look after them. Government should
concider
Correct your spelling
consider
this
Linking Words
 problem seriously as animals are one of the crucial parts of our natural habitat.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can bring an enormous disruption
in
Change preposition
to
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 our
environment
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, if tigers and lions
are died
Change to the active voice
die
have died
show examples
then
Linking Words
, it will disrupt the whole food chain.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some other environmental problems
such
Linking Words
 as air
pollution
Use synonyms
, water
pollution
Use synonyms
 and land degradation.
Firsrly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, air
pollution
Use synonyms
 is becoming a major concern for most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries now because the level of
pollution
Use synonyms
 is increasing
day-by-day
Correct your spelling
day by day
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, as per
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 news
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 in the air has
raised up
Verb problem
risen
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 since
last
Linking Words
 decade.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the rapid growth in
industrial
Add an article
the industrial
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 sector around the world
gave
Wrong verb form
has given
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great rise to water
pollution
Use synonyms
 lately.
Hence
Linking Words
, these are
also
Linking Words
 an important area which
required
Wrong verb form
require
show examples
 attention.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 there is no doubt that
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
 of animals is a really important topic, I firmly assert that all
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues need
equal
Add an article
an equal
show examples
 amount of concern because both are vital.

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language
Make sure to proofread your work to correct spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'aninals,' 'concider,' 'Firsrly').
coherence
Improve transitions between your ideas to enhance the flow of the essay, especially between paragraphs.
task achievement
Develop your arguments further by providing more detailed evidence or examples to support your points.
task achievement
You provided a clear discussion of both views on the environmental problem, which is crucial for this type of essay.
coherence
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, reinforcing the idea that all environmental issues are important.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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