IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As countries develop, many people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

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Beacause
Correct your spelling
Because
 of the development,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world , many
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 are enough wealthy
for purchasing
Change preposition
to purchase
show examples
 a car.
While
Linking Words
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are getting benefits from technology , there are some concerns immersing evolving around
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 by using
cars
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will elaborate that
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 have to give
pritority
Correct your spelling
priority
 to environmental issues rather than taking benefits from
cars
Use synonyms
. Foremost ,
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 a car is a freedom in itself . People can travel from one place to another without any obstacles. They can earn more money
ad
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 have more opportunities to grow because they can
realocate
Correct your spelling
relocate
reallocate
 easily to any organisation.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , you can
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 a considerable level of
convenice
Correct your spelling
convenience
, because in
someplaces
Correct your spelling
some places
 public transport is not an
edequate
Correct your spelling
adequate
 option , it takes more time
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 your own vehicle. You
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 have to wait for
bus
Add an article
the bus
a bus
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 or train
for moving
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to move
show examples
.
For Example
Linking Words
 , In
vancouver
Add a comma
vancouver,
show examples
 if you take a skytrain for
waterstation
Correct your spelling
a water station
 it takes usually 45 minutes but
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , if you have your
care
Correct your spelling
car
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it only needs 25 minutes to
reach
Verb problem
get
show examples
 over
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
, you
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 need to stop for every station. On the other side , pollution is the main tragic complication revolving around
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
. The smog
comes
Correct pronoun usage
that comes
show examples
 from vehicles
would
Verb problem
apply
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mixed
Change the verb form
mix
be mixed
show examples
 in the air and causes
an
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apply
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air pollution which
further
Linking Words
 leads to many
diseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
 and
main
Add an article
the main
a main
show examples
 cause of
that is
Linking Words
skyrockting
Correct your spelling
skyrocketing
,
Remove the comma
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming .
Furthermore
Linking Words
 , Adequate
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of fossils are being used in
cars
Use synonyms
 to operate them . All
fuel making
Add a hyphen
fuel-making
show examples
 countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are on
red
Correct article usage
the red
show examples
 line because the surplus demand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that increasing
dy
Correct your spelling
day
 by day .
However
Linking Words
 , a large group of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 . buy
cars
Use synonyms
 to show their social status which leads
bank
Change preposition
to bank
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 loans , more responsibilities and
burden
Correct article usage
the burden
show examples
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
eran
Correct your spelling
earning
 more . To maintain their social status , they forget to enjoy their human life. In conclusion ,
while
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 true that
cars
Use synonyms
 can bring more comfort and
realibilty
Correct your spelling
reality
 in
Add an article
a persons
show examples
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 life , I still
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that their demerits outweigh the merits . we need our environment to
breath
Replace the word
breathe
show examples
, to eat and to live .

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task achievement
Improve the introduction to clearly outline your main arguments. Avoid vague statements and make your position clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
language
Check grammar and spelling errors, as they can distract from your overall message. Pay attention to word forms (e.g., 'transport' instead of 'transportation').
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims. For instance, mention specific environmental initiatives that show the negative impact of cars.
task achievement
You have presented a relevant topic and a clear argument about environmental issues related to car usage.
task achievement
Your essay shows an understanding of the advantages cars can offer individuals, which is a crucial part of the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable development
  • greenhouse gases
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • renewable energy sources
  • urban sprawl
  • traffic congestion
  • innovative technologies
  • public transportation systems
  • electric vehicles
  • carbon emissions
  • socio-economic benefits
  • ecological footprint
  • urban mobility
  • congestion pricing
  • emission standards
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