IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people belive that university education should only be offered to those who can pay for their own courses and the government should not be expected to fund higher education. to what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that many individuals assert that university is only for those who can afford their own courses , and the
government
Use synonyms
 cannot fund higher
education
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for several reasons .
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
education
Use synonyms
 is a fundamental human right ,
therefore
Linking Words
 governments have to prioritize
this
Linking Words
 and provide free higher
education
Use synonyms
 for everyone . Not only because it is one of the important rights , but
also
Linking Words
 because it will help the
government
Use synonyms
 to discover talented people, which is beneficial for the community to develop .
For instance
Linking Words
 , in North Africa, 70 per cent of people cannot
be going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 to university
due to
Linking Words
 the high cost of courses , which in turn leads to an increase in the rate of crime and ignorance inside the society .
Moreover
Linking Words
, the approach above it might be a burden on the
government
Use synonyms
 in terms of finances,
however
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that when the country puts
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 amount of money and Investment into the
education
Use synonyms
 system like offering scholarships and grants for certain students it might encourage people to be passion and start their study journey .
For example
Linking Words
, studies show that student who are studying on their own money their performance at university
lower
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than those who have scholarships. .
To sum up
Linking Words
 ,
while
Linking Words
 it may be awkward for the
government
Use synonyms
 to handle
this
Linking Words
 , in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think that can prevent students from continuing their studies or even starting because they have no money

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language
Revise sentence structures to improve clarity and eliminate grammatical errors, such as incorrect article usage and punctuation issues.
Content
Expand the arguments to provide more depth and specific examples that directly relate to the benefits of government-funded education.
Cohesion
Ensure a more coherent flow between points by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.
Argument
The essay presents a clear stance against the idea that only those who can afford education should have access to university.
Example
The mention of North Africa highlights a relevant example that supports the argument about access to education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: