IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that academic success depends on good teachers, while others argue that it depends on the attitude of the student. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There has been a heated debate over whether great
adademic
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academic
 results should rely on good
teachers
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 or the attitude of
students
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.In my opinion,not only good
teachers
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 but
also
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 the
students
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' attitudes and motivations
that
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apply
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contribute to better
school
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 grades. On the one hand,some people argue that professional
teachers
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 with sound educational
background
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backgrounds
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 and rich teaching experience play a key role in imparting knowledge and offering academic help to
students
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.
For instance
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, most
students
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 are likely to get motivated and inspired by
teachers
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 who are more intelligent and knowledgable,
specially
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especially
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teachers
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 with exceptional patience,who are good at assisting weaker
students
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 in class and
help
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helping
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 them achieve their
potentials
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potential
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 and strive for better
school
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 grades.
Teachers
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also
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 serve as
metors
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mentors
 to and can give valuable life experiences to
students
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.
As a result
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,raising higher teaching calibre is a requirement for most schools to strive for
execellence
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excellence
 and
school
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 prestige.It's a win-win for both
students
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 and schools so that both
of
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apply
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parties can benefit from
this
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.
On the other hand
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, those who maintain that
students
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 should rely on their own to achieve better
school
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 grades argue that
teachers
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 or tutors only offer guides to
students
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 and impart theoretical knowledge in class,which means
students
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 should be dependent on themselves to put the theory into practice and devote themselves to study to achieve great results.
For example
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,if
students
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 are not motivated enough or putting
on
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apply
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any
efforts
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effort
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in
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into
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school
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 work, they are not likely to perform well at
school
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 work even though they have the most professional
teachers
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. In conclusion, from my perspective,achieving academic results requires not only teaching expertise but
also
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students
Use synonyms
' dedication to hard work and great motivation to strive for excellence.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure by defining your main points explicitly. You could add headings or clearer transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are not only relevant but also clearly connected to your main argument. This can strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
You effectively present both views on the topic, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well and reflects your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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