IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that youngsters should be required to do unpaid work helping people in the community. Are disadvantages of this requirement greater than the benefits for the community and individuals?

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Should Youngsters Be Required to Do Unpaid Community
Work
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? Community service is a good way to develop valuable life skills and contribute to society. In my opinion,
this
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 is a very controversial statement. On the one hand, youth gain very important skills from volunteering. By helping those in need, they develop compassion and an understanding of social issues, which makes them active and responsible in future life.
Additionally
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, volunteering enhances practical skills
such
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 as teamwork, leadership, and communication, which are beneficial for both personal and professional development.
On the other hand
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, a requirement for unpaid
work
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 leads to serious problems,
such
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 as a lack of motivation and enthusiasm. If youngsters feel coerced rather than inspired, the quality of their
work
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 may suffer, reducing its effectiveness.
Moreover
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, some young people are already struggling with part-time jobs and extracurricular activities. Adding volunteering could increase stress and reduce the time available for studies.
While
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 unpaid community
work
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 offers significant benefits to both individuals and society, making it a mandatory requirement may cause unintended negative consequences. Encouraging, rather than forcing, young people to participate in volunteer activities may be a more effective approach. Schools and universities should promote volunteering as an opportunity rather than an obligation, ensuring that young people have valuable and enjoyable experiences
instead
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 of seeing it as a duty.

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task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on the points in support of your claims. While your ideas are clear, they could benefit from more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence
Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument. This would enhance the logical flow of your essay and improve coherence.
coherence
Work on providing a more definitive conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed in the essay. This will offer the reader a clearer understanding of your stance.
task achievement
Your essay has a well-defined argument and addresses both sides of the issue effectively, which is a commendable approach.
coherence
The language used throughout your essay is varied and demonstrates a good command of vocabulary and grammar, contributing to overall readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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