The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advanced technology which can prevent and solve crime. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely believed that the
crime
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rate is depleting
because
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because of
show examples
the advent of new
technology
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. From my perspective, I disagree with the statement because
technology
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does not stop
criminal
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criminals
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to commit
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from committing
show examples
illegal
activity
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activities
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and it actually
increase
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increases
show examples
illegal
act
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acts
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new aspects
such
Linking Words
as cybercrime. It
is appear
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appears
show examples
that
technology
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has no
affect
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effect
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to
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on
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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rate because the cause of
crime
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is not from low
technology
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but it is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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of education or
ethical
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ethics
show examples
.
Although
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CCTV
camera
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cameras
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can discourage theft to not break and shoplifting
the
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in the
show examples
store, there are the
path way
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pathway
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for
criminal
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criminals
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to bypass security measures.
For example
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, despite
USA
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the USA
show examples
have technological advancements, the cities still have high illegal act rates.
Moreover
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, technological development
allow
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allows
show examples
criminal
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criminals
show examples
to commit illegal activities in cyber. Not only the police can gain the advantage of
the
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apply
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technological advancement but
also
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criminals,
for example
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, if people create draw
website
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websites
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for illegal
marketplace
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marketplaces
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such
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as drugs or weapons, it would be anonymous persons that they use fake or theft
others
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others'
other's
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identity
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identities
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and the police duty would be more challenging.
In addition
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, these
also
Linking Words
allow hackers to theft information from one company and sell
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
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author
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the author
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or even bigger like national information and they can
also
Linking Words
fraud money by hacking
others
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others'
other's
show examples
bank
account
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accounts
show examples
. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological improvement grew dramatically
illegal
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in illegal
show examples
act
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acts
show examples
. I believe that
technology
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cannot stop
crime
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to be
Verb problem
from
show examples
happening
instead
Linking Words
it
increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
new
crime
Use synonyms
in
digital
Change the article
a digital
show examples
way.

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Task Achievement
Clarify your stance more clearly in your introduction and ensure your thesis statement directly reflects your viewpoint. Use phrases like 'While some may argue...' to contrast opinions more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen linkages between sentences and paragraphs to create a smoother flow of ideas. Use transition words like 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'For instance' to enhance coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure grammar and word choice is accurate: "criminal to commit illegal activity" should be "criminals committing illegal activities" and "allow criminal" should be "allows criminals". Correcting these will enhance clarity.
Content
You provide a clear argument against the effectiveness of technology in preventing crime, which showcases critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance systems
  • CCTV cameras
  • forensic technology
  • crime scene analysis
  • conviction rates
  • data analytics
  • predictive policing
  • high-risk areas
  • cybersecurity measures
  • cybercrime
  • sensitive information
  • social media
  • online platforms
  • emergencies
  • law enforcement response
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