IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepare them to be good parents. What extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

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There is a debate over the topic
whether
Change preposition
of whether
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 parents should take some courses on how to look after youth.
While
Linking Words
 some might argue that it is better to follow
advice
Add an article
the advice
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 of elders and cultural traditions in order to care
after
Change preposition
for
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 children, I believe that it is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
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 of couples to be involved in caring courses to avoid traumatic experiences and
ensuring
Wrong verb form
ensure
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 proper child development.

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task achievement
Expand on your main arguments with more detailed explanations and examples. For instance, explain what traumatic experiences could be avoided through proper training, or provide specific benefits of child development that courses could address.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline your argument in the introduction and reiterate your main points in the conclusion. This will help to solidify your message and enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the transition between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow. Use linking words to guide the reader and connect your thoughts more smoothly.
task achievement
The introduction presents a clear position on the topic, which is essential for engaging the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a personal viewpoint, demonstrating the ability to form an argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parenting skills
  • Child development
  • Mandatory courses
  • Nutrition
  • Discipline strategies
  • Effective communication
  • Government regulations
  • Voluntary workshops
  • Community support
  • Cultural backgrounds
  • Personal beliefs
  • Emotionally stable
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