IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph illustrates males and females
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have studied
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a full-time or part-time
education
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 three periods of time in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see the number of males in a full-time
education
Use synonyms
 slightly
encreased
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
 over the years as in 1970 there were 100, in 1980 almost 200 and in 1990 there were more than 200.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the number of men who studied in a part-time system marginally decreased between the first and the
last
Linking Words
 period of time.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of females
errolled
Correct your spelling
enrolled
 in a full-time
education
Use synonyms
 have
also
Linking Words
encreased
Correct your spelling
increased
show examples
 over the years as in 1970 there were 100 and in 1980 there were more than 200.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
woman's
Fix the agreement mistake
women's
show examples
 case is different to men's case in terms of part-time
education
Use synonyms
 as there has been a big
encrease
Correct your spelling
increase
 over the years
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the amount of students that have
enrrolled
Correct your spelling
enrolled
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that type of educational system. After taking all the details, we can conclude that in both genders
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and in every year, the majority of students were
enrroled
Correct your spelling
enrolled
 in a part-time
education
Use synonyms
 system.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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