IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Traffic congestion is a growing problem in many cities today. what of the causes of traffic congestion and what measures can be taken to reduce it?

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Traffic
Use synonyms
jams
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 have become the number one concern of communities living in the largest cities. most individuals are looking for the answer to "why
this
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 case is increasing in recent years?".
In addition
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, what solution should we take to minimize it
.
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?
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This
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 essay will explain that. In my opinion,
traffic
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 congestion has been happening for a long time.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 problem not only occurred in big
place
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places
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, but
also
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 has begun in small towns. In
this
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 era,
i
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I
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 saw the phenomena that
i
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I
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 called "one home, many vehicles", especially in my hometown. It is probably because the population
is
Verb problem
has
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 always enhanced their transportation.
Furthermore
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,
traffic
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jams
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 usually happen in rush hour, like; in the morning when the civilization will go to the office,
then
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 in the evening when they want to back home.
Besides
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, congestion can happen if any festival with parking area along the roadside.
On the other hand
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, a solution to reduce
this
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 phenomenon is needed. So, we must realize that these
jams
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 should have a collaboration between the government and society to measure it.
Although
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, the state already has methods to minimize the
traffic
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jams
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 problem.
For example
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, public transportation is already available in various downtown and some areas have already implemented the odd-even
traffic
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 rule. Depends on me when
i
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I
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 go to the city with the
traffic
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 rules, it was successful. Hopefully, it can be implemented in other cities in
this
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 country.
Overall
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, the causes of freight congestion can be decreased if the public and government work together to overcome it.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the structure of your essay and provides a clear thesis statement. This helps improve clarity and sets context for your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Use more explicit linking words and phrases to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, make sure to develop your points further by providing more specific examples and explanations for your claims. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Revise your conclusion to summarize the main points of your essay more clearly, reinforcing the argument and making it feel complete.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of traffic congestion and provides a reasonable exploration of both causes and solutions.
task achievement
There are good attempts to introduce examples, such as public transportation and traffic rules, which enhance the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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