IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational settings in the UK in 2010.

The chart below shows the percentage of male and female teachers in six different types of educational settings in the UK in 2010.
The bar chart demonstrates the participation of
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 teachers in six different types of academic settings in the United Kingdom in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that, except for college,
women
Use synonyms
 teach a higher
percentage
Use synonyms
 in schools,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 teach a higher
percentage
Use synonyms
 in after-school education. With regard to pre-university education, females present the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in teaching at nursery and primary schools, approximately 100 and 95
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 males demonstrate less than nearly 20 times less of a
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 nurture a higher
percentage
Use synonyms
 at secondary school at 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, compared to approximately 45
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 for
men
Use synonyms
. Turning to higher-degree education,
men
Use synonyms
 teach the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 at the university nearly 70%,
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 teach less than double the
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 profess a higher
percentage
Use synonyms
 at private training
institute
Fix the agreement mistake
institutes
show examples
 than
women
Use synonyms
, at 50% and 45% respectively. Meanwhile, it is noticeable that both males and females teach the same
percentage
Use synonyms
 at college.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 9 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: