Challenge 4 : In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Due to
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rapid
technology improve
Replace the word
technological improvement
show examples
, in some countries,
organasations
Correct your spelling
organisations
have allowed
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
to
work
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on
Change preposition
in
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their own
place
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instead
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of
regular
Change preposition
in regular
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office,
while
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in other countries require
attendence
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attendance
to
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at
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the
Use synonyms
work
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workplace
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place
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. In my
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opinion
poinion
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poinion,
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I believe that a combination of both would be the optimum. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
of
views
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view
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will be
discussd
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discussed
, and I will support my suggestion.
To begin
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with, online-based jobs, have become popular nowadays,
espacially
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especially
after the COVID-19
panadamic
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pandemic
panoramic
,
therefor
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therefore
show examples
a considerable amount of companies
did
Verb problem
have
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experienced a full transition of their business into
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern methods. which did approve that a numerous number of
taskes
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tasks
can be done at home.
thus
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workers will feel more
flexable
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flexible
,
for
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example
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example,
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they can dress, and choose,
what
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apply
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ever and
where ever
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wherever
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they
satisfied
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are satisfied
show examples
,
However
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, employees are more likely to be distracted at their houses and communication between peers online is never
analoug
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compared
to actual meetings, which may
imparied
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improve
the
work
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quality.
Throug
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Throughout
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history, it has been assured that human nature
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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to love socializing,
therefor
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therefore
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attending actual meetings, and
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
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in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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work
Use synonyms
venues,
match
Correct pronoun usage
which match
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with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the person's social desire.
eventhough
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Even though
traditional
Correct article usage
the traditional
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method is considered less
flexable
Correct your spelling
flexible
, it is still the best
place
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to achieve most of the
work
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, as the
place
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is designed specifically for
work
Use synonyms
, so
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
distractions will occur.
nevertheless
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, sometimes daily attendance could be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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overwhelm
Replace the word
overwhelming
show examples
,
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
, considering
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
attendings working
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
and
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
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it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
with online working may solve the overload problem of the traditional way, and offer the
flexabilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
of
online-based
Correct article usage
an online-based
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job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. In conclusion, working at home
carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
a significant awards
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significant awards
a significant award
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,
thus
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it might affect the quality of
work
Use synonyms
and influence
worker's
Change noun form
workers'
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social
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
while
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a traditional business model
lack
Change the verb form
lacks
show examples
flexabilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
but
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
the best regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
quality.
therefor
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
, a
combanation
Correct your spelling
combination
of both models in the working days might be the best
soultion
Correct your spelling
solution
.

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language accuracy
Ensure correct spelling and grammar to enhance readability. Words like 'organisation', 'attendance', and 'solution' need correction.
coherence
Present ideas in a clearer manner; separate points into distinct paragraphs for better flow. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task response
Strengthen your arguments by providing more concrete examples to support your points, particularly in discussing the benefits and drawbacks of each working model.
content
You introduced both perspectives on remote work and traditional office work effectively, which sets a balanced tone for the essay.
structure
Your conclusion summarizes your thoughts well, reiterating the main points of the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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