IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the number of people who visited different museums in London during different months in 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

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The graph illustrates the proportion of individuals who went to museums namely,
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
, National
Museum
Use synonyms
, British
Museum
Use synonyms
 and Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 in London throughout various months by 2015.
It is clear that
Linking Words
, in August the percentage of the
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
 increased significantly.
Visitors
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 British
Musume
Use synonyms
 reached a peak in that month.
While
Linking Words
 the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 tourists who visited all museums
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
almost remained unchanged in June and July.
To begin
Linking Words
 with. History
Use synonyms
musume
Correct your spelling
Museum
visitors
Use synonyms
 in June and July
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 nearly 400,000. The
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
figure grew suddenly to exactly 600.000 in August. In
October
Use synonyms
 the
number
Use synonyms
 hit the lowest
number
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 250.000.
Whereas
Linking Words
 National
Musume
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 stood at more than 200.000. The figures fluctuated over the period to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 in
October
Use synonyms
 with less than 200.000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, British
Musume
Use synonyms
 stood at 250.000 in June. In July the
number
Use synonyms
 remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
. After that, the figure grew suddenly and reached a peak at 700.000 in August.
Then
Linking Words
 , the folks
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 went to it declined gradually to almost 500.000 in
October
Use synonyms
.
Sciense
Correct your spelling
Science
Museum
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 began at less than 500.000.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the figure climbed in September to
reached
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
 exactly 500.000. In
October
Use synonyms
, the
number
Use synonyms
 decreased again to 300.000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museum, visitors, musume, october, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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