IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that schools should reward students with the best academic results, while others believe it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In schools, achieving reward by
students
Use synonyms
encourged
Correct your spelling
encourages
them or boosts their confidence to do
studies
Use synonyms
 hard.There is an idea that says ,
students
Use synonyms
 who get
execellent
Correct your spelling
excellent
grades
Use synonyms
 in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
 should be rewarded ,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
advocate
Correct subject-verb agreement
advocates
show examples
say it is more significant to reward
students
Use synonyms
 who improve their
grades
Use synonyms
.I personally believe
students
Use synonyms
 should be acknowledged
either
Change preposition
as either
show examples
Use synonyms
improver
Fix the agreement mistake
improvers
show examples
 or
topper
Fix the agreement mistake
toppers
show examples
 but more importance should be given to
Use synonyms
improver
Fix the agreement mistake
improvers
show examples
 is not good
practise
Correct your spelling
practice
show examples
. The primary reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
giving
award
Fix the agreement mistake
awards
show examples
 to toppers is
Add an article
a
the
show examples
sense of motivation .
In other
Linking Words
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
studies
Change the verb form
study
show examples
 hard to get
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
grades
Use synonyms
 ,
by
Correct word choice
and by
show examples
 giving them
reward
Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
show examples
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only
boosts
Correct subject-verb agreement
boost
show examples
 their confidence but
also
Linking Words
encourging
Correct your spelling
encourage
 them to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work hard.
For example
Linking Words
 , most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
schools
sets
Change the verb form
set
show examples
high rewards for the first position which
motivate
Correct subject-verb agreement
motivates
show examples
 learners to set their goals higher and study harder to achieve
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
students
Use synonyms
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 motivated and consistent even when they
tired
Add a missing verb
are tired
show examples
 .
In addition
Linking Words
, if schools give more
importants
Correct your spelling
importance
important
 to
only
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
improver
Fix the agreement mistake
improvers
show examples
then
Linking Words
 there could be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of motivation for those who do
studies
Use synonyms
 more hard in order to get
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 academic results. On the other side ,
students
Use synonyms
 who improve their
grades
Use synonyms
 than before
also
Linking Words
 should
be acknowledge
Change the verb form
be acknowledged
show examples
 as it would
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 them to study hard which eventually
also
Linking Words
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 their
performence
Correct your spelling
performance
 in
Use synonyms
studies
Correct pronoun usage
their studies
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
giving
rewarded
Replace the word
rewards
show examples
 more
importantly
Change the word
important
show examples
 than tooper
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 them
sense
Add an article
a sense
show examples
 of
over confidence
Correct your spelling
overconfidence
show examples
 and
also
Linking Words
 would not
fair
Add a missing verb
be fair
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the best graders .
For example
Linking Words
, if
students
Use synonyms
 who are already below average in
grades
Use synonyms
 get more acknowledgement than
Excellents
Correct your spelling
Excellent
one's
Change noun form
it
show examples
 can lead to demotivation for those who are the best
grader
Fix the agreement mistake
graders
show examples
 in class, it may feel them being best is not worth it.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 both types of
students
Use synonyms
 should be
rewared
Correct your spelling
rewarded
, it has adverse effects if
Use synonyms
improver
Correct article usage
the improver
show examples
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 more importantly rewarded
instead
Linking Words
 of the topper.So in my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
students
Use synonyms
 should be more significantly rewarded who get
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 marks not
better
Correct word choice
the best
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Revise the structure of your introduction. Clearly outline the two views to provide clarity from the start.
Task Achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed with explanations and examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the clarity of your conclusion by summarizing the main points more succinctly and re-emphasizing your opinion clearly.
Task Achievement
You have shown a good understanding of both viewpoints regarding academic rewards.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and engages with the prompt effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: