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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do the advantage of this trend outweigh the disadvantage?

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Having children late is becoming a trend these days as individuals prefer understanding each other before thinking about kids. It could be several causes and the following paragraph will discuss its disadvantages. First of all, with the growing maturity many physical restrictions hinder the ability to
conceiving
Wrong verb form
conceive
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baby
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a baby
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. Usually, younger plan to get married at the life of 30,
eventually
Correct word choice
but eventually
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, they decide to have a child almost 3 years after marriage. So that, they can know about each other and can spend sufficient
time
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 together. Even, one survey of national newspapers depicted that women after 28 begin taking multivitamins to keep their body fit and healthy. So definitely, at the age of 33 ladies start feeling weakness which leads to problems of conceiving a baby or sometimes delivering the infant.
Secondly
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, As couples prioritise financial stability over family planning, that means they are ready to delay extending family
instead
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 of managing personal and professional life at the same
time
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.
Last
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 but not least, having a baby comes with great responsibilities, which inculcates the feeling of fear in young couples. Because
,
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apply
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 people live in nuclear families nowadays and they do not have the support of parents and grandparents.
Hence
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, all the pressure goes on their shoulders
what
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that
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 they are not prepared to take as they already struggle with office tasks and targets. After, considering these factors one chooses to have children later in life once one accomplishes the goals they are working for. And they are able to spend
time
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 with their kids without any stress of a career.
To conclude
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, undoubtedly, the cons of having kids at the age of 30 plus are far more. And,
this
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 happens
due to
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 a lot of reasons
such
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 as lack of family support, afraid of taking the whole burden on their shoulders, and willingness to spend more
time
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 together .

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the introduction by briefly stating the main points you will discuss. This helps in providing a clearer outline for the reader.
task achievement
Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in your conclusion that summarizes your main argument. It could better highlight whether the advantages or disadvantages outweigh each other, rather than stating that the cons are far more.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or statistics to support your points. For instance, mentioning studies or research on the effects of later parenthood could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Reorganize some sentences for better flow. For example, the transition between discussing maturity and financial stability could be smoother to enhance coherence.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons for the trend of delayed parenthood, showing an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure with clear main ideas, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Delayed parenthood
  • Financial stability
  • Career development
  • Economic uncertainty
  • Fertility treatments
  • Reproductive health
  • Cultural expectations
  • Societal norms
  • Personal freedom
  • Experiential achievements
  • Childbearing age
  • Professional growth
  • Equal footing
  • Hesitant
  • Defer
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