Societies give sportspeople and entertainment personality more valuable than professional workers such as doctors, nurses, teachers. What is the main reason? Do you think it is a good or bad development?

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Societies give both sportspeople and

entertainment

Use synonyms

personality values more than professional

workers

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as doctors, nurses,

teachers

Correct word choice

and teachers

show examples

. I think it is a bad development. One reason for

this

Linking Words

is that professional

workers

Use synonyms

are crucial. Recently. Both sportspeople and

entertainment

Use synonyms

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

are very crucial. One reason for

this

Linking Words

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

massive influence of media, advertising by support all the time

while

Linking Words

it can attract millions of fans because

entertainment

Use synonyms

is more enjoyable nowadays. It has vital importance to attract people in touch with

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

. It can lead to a lack of appreciation for essential

workers

Use synonyms

who contribute to the well-being and education of society. When we prioritize fame and

entertainment

Use synonyms

over professions that require years of training and have a direct impact on people's lives, it can undermine the value of those professions. It's important to recognize and support the contributions of all

workers

Use synonyms

, especially those who provide essential services. Like doctors, nurses and teachers.

To sum up

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

entertainment

Use synonyms

and sports are important, there should be a better balance in how society values different professions. Essential

workers

Use synonyms

deserve more respect, recognition, and financial support for their contributions.

loodyalghafriFri Feb 14 2025

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task achievement

The introduction could more clearly express the main argument and the reasons behind your viewpoint. Consider rephrasing it to include what you believe is the main reason for the imbalance in values assigned to different professions.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance the logical structure by using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your arguments systematically.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you might mention how a lack of recognition for essential workers can affect healthcare outcomes or educational standards.

task achievement

You presented a clear viewpoint that prioritizing fame over essential professions is a concerning trend.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main point, advocating for a better balance in societal values.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

187 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural icons
influence
economic impact
revenue generation
sponsorships
media coverage
celebrity culture
pervasive presence
traditional professions
social perception
success and fame

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Societies give sportspeople and entertainment personality more valuable than professional workers such as doctors, nurses, teachers. What is the main reason? Do you think it is a good or bad development?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that young people should spend their free time with their families instead of enjoying outside entertainment. However, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

People have different views about the role and function of museums. In my opinion, museums can and should be both entertaining and educational.

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not unhealthy but affect the nature too. Do you think the advantages of GM food outweigh the drawbacks?