IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Literature
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 gives a chance to catch different knowledge and improve
students
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' thinking,
describing
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and describing
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 skills. Teaching the
literature
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 of their own
country
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 and foreign
countries
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 both give them
bright
Add an article
a bright
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 improvement on their studying. From my
side
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side,
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 I teach different topics
taking
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apply
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from different
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countries
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countries'
country's
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literature
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. The reason I take different information
it means
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is to
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 let them know different
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culture
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cultures
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, different
nations
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nations'
nation's
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 history
as well
Linking Words
as
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and
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 various art
style
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styles
show examples
. Learning the
culture
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 makes children more intelligent and improves their
elligance
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elegance
.
Futhermore
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Furthermore
students
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 extend their understanding of life
then
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 can obtain different
experience
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experiences
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while
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 learning it. When reading other
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countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
 history readers understand how the exact
country
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 could exist, how
inheritages
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inheritances
heritages
in-heritages
 spent their power,
insperation
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inspiration
, valuable time so on. The
nation
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nation's
show examples
 history presents
the
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apply
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eesential
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essential
 information about the
country
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, how the
country
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 was
stablished
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established
, where
licated
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located
, what are the people like, how large
a
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the
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 territory is,
what
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and what
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 is the weather like
?
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.
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 and so on. Knowing all
these
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this
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above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 information gives us a chance to
visit
Verb problem
go
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 from one place to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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ones
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apply
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. Learning art wides our eyes. Building styles, monuments,
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and musiems
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musiems
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museums
provide
Verb problem
allows
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 us to see and
to
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apply
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learn
others'
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about others'
show examples
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culture
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cultures
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.
Culture
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 improves
inteeligence
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intelligence
, respect, communication, design,
musical
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music
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, dancing, drawing,
as well as
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students
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' wish and interest.
At the
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end
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end,
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 I would like to
approve
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explain
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 why I prefer to teach children from different
countries
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literature
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.
This
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 is the best way for
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students'multiple
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students multiple
 intelligence skills
such
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 as drawing, musical, interpersonal, intrapersonal,
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and phisycal
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phisycal
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physical
 approaches
as well as
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 for their creative thinking.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Ensure that each paragraph has a single main idea that ties back to your thesis.
task achievement
Make sure to fully develop your arguments, explaining how teaching both domestic and foreign literature benefits children's education over time.
language accuracy
Correct spelling and grammar issues for better readability, such as 'elligance' (elegance), 'insperation' (inspiration), 'musiums' (museums), and 'phisycal' (physical).
argument clarity
Your essay presents a clear position on the importance of teaching children literature from both their own country and foreign countries, which is a strong foundation for your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Native literature
  • Cultural identity
  • Heritage
  • Traditions
  • National pride
  • Language skills
  • Idiomatic expressions
  • Engagement
  • Relatability
  • Broaden perspectives
  • Cultural awareness
  • Open-mindedness
  • Literary heritage
  • Bias
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Global community
  • Domestic vs. international literature
  • Cultural nuances
  • Sense of belonging
What to do next:
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