IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

One problem faced by almost every large city is traffic congestion. What do you think the causes are? What solutions can you suggest?

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One of the major problems in cosmopolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 is
traffic
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 jams in different parts of the area. The growing population result in high demand for transportation, so there is a profound increase in the number of
cars
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 in big
cities
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.
Car
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 sharing stands out as the most pragmatic solution for the rising
traffic
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 crowd. On the one hand, there are increasing number of
cars
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 in
cities
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 because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 growing population and the need for fast transportation.
People
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 commonly decide to use
cars
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 rather than public transportation because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 comfort and speed.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it causes a dilemma, since if everyone in the society uses
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
a car
the car
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 course of action results in a
traffic
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 jam.
Thus
Linking Words
, travelling
time
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 will increase over
time
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 indirectly. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in Istanbul,
therefore
Linking Words
 Istanbul is home to approximately 20 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
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. A recent study indicates that almost 56% of
people
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 in Istanbul prefer to use
Use synonyms
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
while
Linking Words
 driving through their offices.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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study
Replace the word
studies
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 clearly
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 attitude increases travel
time
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 to reach their target destination.
While
Linking Words
 I was in my first year of high
school
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 in 2014, I was travelling around 20 minutes to my
school
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 with my
school
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 minibus.
However
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, in the
last
Linking Words
 term of my high
school
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 in 2018,
this
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time
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 was increased to 50 minutes, the only reason was
traffic
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 congestion. As a solution, a
car
Use synonyms
-sharing scheme can be introduced in
cities
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 where
traffic
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 congestion takes place. (carpool)
This
Linking Words
 method proposes that if a house has more than 2 residents and if these
people
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 work at the same location, they are restricted to using the same
car
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 to go
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 work.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it reduces the number of
cars
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 across national roads, it diminishes
traffic
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 congestion. It is a
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 remedy across Western countries. The USA highly promotes
this
Linking Words
 action across their states, in Texas,
this
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 method decreased
traffic
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 jams by up to 20%, meanwhile, it caused to reduction of travel
time
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 by up to 25 minutes. Taking everything into account, in recent decades excessive
car
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 usage has caused
traffic
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crowdness
Correct your spelling
crowdedness
 which seems inevitable,
Linking Words
nonetheless
Add a comma
nonetheless,
show examples
car
Use synonyms
 sharing has been experienced and solved
this
Linking Words
 problem previously.
Thus
Linking Words
, it stands out as a reliable solution.

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task achievement
Clarify the introduction by providing a clearer overview of the causes and solutions that will be discussed in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that ideas flow logically, possibly with the use of linking phrases to connect the sentences better.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying sentence structure, especially for examples, to improve engagement and flow.
task achievement
The use of specific examples, like the traffic situation in Istanbul, effectively illustrates your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urban population
  • public transportation
  • urban planning
  • infrastructure
  • economic strength
  • consumerism
  • car ownership
  • commuting
  • peak hours
  • public transit
  • carpooling
  • ride-sharing
  • remote work
  • flexible working hours
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion charges
  • traffic management systems
What to do next:
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