The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The graph illustrates the proportion of older men
somkers
Correct your spelling
smokers
in Australia, Mexico, Cuba, Bangladesh,
Lebenoon
Correct your spelling
Lebanon
, Egypt and America in 2000 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the percentage of average male
smokers
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 2000 to 2015 in some nations
such
Linking Words
as Australia, Mexico, Cuba, Bangladesh and America.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle
Capitalize word
Middle
show examples
east
Replace the word
Eastern
show examples
countries like
Lebenoon
Correct your spelling
Lebanon
,
Egypt
Correct word choice
and Egypt
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased significantly the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
in 2015. In Mexico have been grown sharply in the amount of male
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
from 20% in 2000 to double
this
Linking Words
percentage for around 40%.
While
Linking Words
, in
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
show examples
there was a significant
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
in the percentage of
smokers
Use synonyms
from just nearly 40% to above 60% .
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
there was
obvious
Add an article
an obvious
show examples
increase in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
from approximately 50% in 2000 to 65% in 2015 which is considered the highest
nations
Fix the agreement mistake
nation
show examples
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
male
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, In Cuba and Australia
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
a slight increase in the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, In
Lebenoon
Correct your spelling
Lebanon
and Egypt was decline dramatically of the number of
smokers
Use synonyms
in 2015 from around 40% to nearly 30% and from 50% to just over 30% respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • percentage
  • adult male smokers
  • world average
  • time frame
  • notable differences
  • trends
  • reductions
  • increases
  • smoking rates
  • global smoking trends
  • insights
  • summarize
  • overall trends
What to do next:
Look at other essays: