IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

many people think that museums and galleries should only show woek from local artists rather than work from other countries do you agree

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Art
Use synonyms
 is an integral part of any nation's culture or
tradtion
Correct your spelling
tradition
,which allows people to stay connected with their roots. Some people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
 that museums and galleries only
demonstrae
Correct your spelling
demonstrate
 work from regional
artisits
Correct your spelling
artists
instead
Linking Words
 of work from all over the world. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as it has adverse effects on
ecnomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 prosperity and
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack of exploration of cultures.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,Limiting the show of
art
Use synonyms
 from
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
can have a negative effect on
nation's
Correct article usage
the nation's
show examples
encomy
Correct your spelling
economy
income
 growth .
Although
Linking Words
 the
aeshtic
Correct your spelling
aesthetic
 appeal of
globolized
Correct your spelling
globalized
globalised
art
Use synonyms
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 from all over the world , having
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 from only one region makes the museums and galleries less attractive which leads to miss the chance of economic benefits to the local
cummunity
Correct your spelling
community
 because of less foot traffic .
For example
Linking Words
 ,diverse exhibitions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the potential to attract people from other countries to
vist
Correct your spelling
visit
 which would be beneficial
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
 community as it lead rise in
tourism
Add an article
the tourism
show examples
 industry.
In addition
Linking Words
, if countries show only regional
art
Use synonyms
 there would be
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of beauty of diversity,which means their locals may
be not get
Change the verb form
not get
show examples
 a chance
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
explorations
Replace the word
explore
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other's
Change noun form
other
show examples
 cultures which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 public
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
limited .
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it may
also
Linking Words
 affect the artistic expression of their
art
Use synonyms
.In
this
Linking Words
sense
Add a comma
sense,
show examples
 the museums and
galleries
Change noun form
galleries'
gallery's
show examples
 content would be
bored
Replace the word
boring
show examples
 as there is nothing to
compared
Wrong verb form
compare
show examples
 or to
Correct article usage
the collabrotion
show examples
collabrotion
Correct your spelling
collaboration
 of two different
art
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
diverse
Add an article
the diverse
show examples
 exhibition has several benefits
such
Linking Words
 as
ecnomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 prosperity and exploration of
other's
Change noun form
other
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
while
Linking Words
on the other hand
Linking Words
 limiting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
diversity can cause negative effects on artist expression and tourism growth .

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task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction to make it clearer that you disagree with the viewpoint presented.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs for better flow. For example, using linking words or phrases can enhance connections between ideas.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, more specific examples or case studies could strengthen your argument. For example, you could refer to specific museums that have benefited from diverse exhibitions.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, which is important in IELTS writing tasks.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • local artists
  • cultural heritage
  • community pride
  • cross-cultural dialogue
  • artistic landscape
  • diverse perspectives
  • economic benefits
  • cultural offerings
  • artist representation
  • engagement with art
  • tourist attraction
  • balance in exhibitions
What to do next:
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